I understand your point of view. I have thought about doing as always. But really I dont want to be percieved as maybe, weak? is that the word IM looking for....Im thinking if my H doesnt want me to text when she is with him, wouldnt it push him further away if I did, but I definitely see your point....I have told him that too....OW text when me and him were together, funny thing is she did it when she knew I werent with him most of the time. I wonder if he has told her the same thing in the past when we were trying to work on things.
Ticks me off to even think about it
Something else, I have heard from her ex's and even her that when she would be with another guy, my H would text her like crazy, or even worse, her son....wanting to know what they were doing and even saying stuff like "he wasnt trying to bother them"
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Ok, Im so stupid stupid stupid. I just broke down in front of my H tonight. WHY???? Because he told me that him and the OW were back together and he was going to be moving in with her. Because he will be out on the street if he doesnt.
I told him I couldnt do this anymore. I told him to leave me alone that I didnt want to hear his friend crap! I cant be just friends with him. He wanted to hug and comfort me and tell me that he did care for me and all that, I wouldnt let him. I was sitting on the stairs and he came over to put his arms around me anyway and I told him not to touch me and he said he was going to hug me whether i liked it or not! I dont know what to do. This all still hurts so bad. Im so tired of hurting. I told him to just go away. I said I hope they were planning on moving far away from me!! Im so upset over this latest thing....now I am forced to have to deal with even more crap! Why do I have to do this???
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Sounds like he has nowhere else to go and so he is moving in with her because he is not ready to come home yet. So, he has to go along to get along when it comes to living arrangements with her.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I dont think it will work out either. I even told him he was stupid for moving in with her right away. I asked what he was going to do when she got mad at him and assumed stuff again, and threw him out! He said he would have to deal with that when it happened.
He is trying to be all comforting to me this morning and Im not having it. He called to talk to the kids, but they didnt want to talk to him. My son did briefly, then hung up on him after saying he wasnt going to stay with him tonight because of the hurricane. So my H called back to say son hung up on him and he would call back in a few. I answered that next time. I was very short and to the point and said I had to go, he said wait, you cant talk to me for a minute....I told him that i didnt feel like talking to him this morning that I had to go and bye!
He texted and said he wanted to know what was wrong.
ah duh
then he asked if I would please talk to him when I was feeling better. Then wanted to know if I was mad at him.
I didnt answer.
He texted me when I got to work. To let me know he had to cover at the ems/fire tonight for the storm and wanted to know if he was going to have the kids or not.
I just texted him and said they would be with me.
He then said "ok and are you ok"
Are you still mad at me and not talking, came next.
Its not that Im mad....Im hurt, yet again.
Your right though, I do have MY house and MY kids. They love me and want to be with me.
Things have to change. I think now is the time for that to happen. He wont know what has hit him. He doesnt want to come home. He said it will never work. He said we cant have what was in the past and we can look forward to a friendly future.
I know we cant have what was in the past. Im tired of him treating me like a child and I feel like thats what he is doing.
I even told him that last night. Time for me to take a stand.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I know it's hard when they move in with OW, but really it is better all the way around. I know that sounds crazy, but just bear with me.
FW moved in with his OW, both times right away. It took the wonder out of "are they together?" "Is he still seeing her?". I knew they were. I knew what I was up against and it took a lot of the pressure off.
Also, do you realize how great it is that they are going to be living together?? Can you imagine the fights and disagreements they are going to have?? Think about how horribly they get along now? Can you imagine how much worse it will be when they are living together? WHOOO WHEEE. Stand back and watch the show. There is no better way to get sick of someone quick than to live with them when you're not compatible. What a boon for you!
I much preferred FW living with his OW than not. I would hate to be like so many on here that I read about who's H's are still trying to hide their OW. Who's H's are still lying to them about their involvement with OW. I always thought the being lied to and the unknown before the bomb was way worse than anything else.
Yes, you're hurt now, but try to look at the bright side of all this and see that it's not the end of the world.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
