Ok .... I am feeling Happy about the way we are interacting and THEN~
Fast forward to yesterday...
{ a little background... he received a private call on Monday, told me to answer and I did not really want to... Insecurity? He was also talking on the phone and acting very ugly on Monday... it was his Mother... but I could have sworn he was talking in English so ... she doesn't speak English.... it just brought back a lot of ugly old Memories. I worked thru them and shrugged it off. :glare: Or so I thought..... }
I am having a dilemma. I am feeling too much peace and getting freaked out? I am feeling insecure ... I am doubting this and how good it feels. I feel like I am going crazy. I know I need to calm myself. Why Do I always think he has something up his sleeve when he is being real and genuine and nice to me?
I am feeling very suspicious and he is being a doll, genuine and sincere. Yesterday for example he wasn't working . It was RAINING. He was working on a trailer that needs repair. He was at the house we are moving into. In the garage working on the trailer. I was at the other house and then later he was gone. He wasn't at either house and I panicked. WHY? I feel suspicious, he surely can't be this nice . He is up to no good again. :roll: And so I call him , Old behavior, I can't calm my own fears at this point. He doesn't answer { he is with one of his bosses} I let some time go by. he usually calls me right back.
He doesn't call. I call him again... No answer. By this time I am very upset.
I let more time go by and then call again. Mind you only about 30 minutes have transpired. He then answers.. and says " Hey honey what is the matter? I was talking to Scott, that is why I couldn't answer sweetie."
I say ok can you call me when you are close to home? The crew is there waiting for you and I am uncomfortable sitting there. { Plus they had just shampooed the carpets so the kids and I had nowhere to sit really} He said sure honey.... I almost start crying with relief.
I then minutes later am taking my son to work and I see my hubby he doesn't see me and he is laughing on the phone with someone. I immediately get angry and upset and think oh sure you were with your boss and wow how stupid am I?
I drop my son off and race home literally. I am going to catch him in the act of talking to someone and I will be right. I am about to walk in and he is calling me and I am feeling so angry...
He looks at me very sweetly and says " hey honey I was calling you why didn't you answer?" I fain a smile. And then he says ... "Have you and the kids eaten?" And I say "no, not yet ."
He says come on lets go.... and takes me and the kids out to dinner. At this local steak sandwich place .
he is being so real and so nice and so sweet. I felt like and idiot for doubting him I just was amazed at the strength of my doubts and my anger.
he then gets a private call..... :blink:
I feel dumb again... and he lets me hear the message ...
It is a private investigator regarding an old acquaintance of my husbands.....????
WE end up having a pleasant evening and he is still being a doll.
WTF?
Why am I feeling like this? Any ideas?
I know it is just old demons.... I think this is just all too much for me. He is being how I have always wanted and it scares the living daylights out of me.
