Last night he actually was puzzled that I talked on the phone so long and then didn't come out to the living room with him to watch tv.
Still Gray today.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Hello and thank you to all of you for your words of support and understanding today.
I think I know, now, that the "material things" are what he is most concerned about. I see that these are the only things left of our marriage that is important to him.
I will take all of this under advisement and do my best not to hurt him anymore in this manner. If that means I have to tiptoe, then the tips of my toe will grow calluses and get stronger.
He is still my only love.
I will continue to love him for now, and sleep on the "Hill where the Lord hides." Chuck Mangione
Ed is awesome, I am listening to dreams right now. He is a Godsend in this world of pay me for salvation evangelists. You have to check out Betrayal and the forgiveness cd. You can get betrayal on podcast(free). If it's not still available I got it saved, let me know and I'm sure you someone has your email that has mine and I can get it to you.
Last edited by phoenyx; 09/04/0809:52 PM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
Poet, the threat to break a window sounds kinda scary. I wouldn't want to advise you to don the mantle of victimhood, but why do you not change the locks anyway.
It's just a matter of your own safety and sanity.
I don't quite get what happened with the truck but it sounds like ya'll are getting tripped up on boundary/respect problems. Making the boundaries explicit might help. Like, come to some agreement that he cannot come to the house any more. And you cannot go to his trailer.
I never threatened anything, certainly not "I'll break a window" and yet my wife has a protection order on me.
I'm sorry about the OW thoughts that haunt you, but you can't go asking him that anymore. Stay away from that topic. And don't ask for hugs either - pressure pressure. You've got to be strong, honey, stronger than you are now. you can do it.
My H was a control freak too! And he got really angry b/c I didn't go along with what he wanted & I ended up getting the house & alimony & he paid all L's fees.
He even cussed me out one night b/c it wasn't going his way. He had never used language like that around me nor ever talk to me like that. (I got it on tape & turned if over to L but we didn't have to use it, thank goodness!)
I'm so sorry that I'm not around much but I keep reading.
Quote:
I think I know, now, that the "material things" are what he is most concerned about. I see that these are the only things left of our marriage that is important to him.
You're very emotional right now, you may see it in a different light later. Give it some time. I see many things differently now, I wish that back in May when I visited H in our hometown I could detach and accept and let go, and be cheerful, light, happy etc. Instead I've let my emotions get the better of me and the result was H telling me (now) how awful and terrifying our encounter in May was for him. Took me nearly two years to learn my lesson. Well, we all have different timing. I'm very slow, I guess:) My point is: you WILL feel better. You WILL detach. You will get less emotional and you will make it, no matter what. And you will see your H as frightened and confused. And I'm sure you will pay much less attention to whether he's angry or not. Anger stands for weakness and uncertainty. You shall pity HIM for how weak and confused he is. And you are the strong one, of course.
((((((Suzanne))))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
"We need to have that same courtesy with each other on the board. Pop in, visit anyone feel free to post to someone and be respectfully very honest with her/him."
I just read the now-locked ettiquitte thread and have seen some very interesting responses. I just hope that if I ever do, or not do what people are telling me here, that you will "hit me with a 2X4" to jump start me in the right direction. I beg you to be respectfully honest with me and tell me what to do, not what my husband is doing, for I can see clearly in that direction. Thanks
I have many posts from early last evening that I want to respond to, so, I'll start with Phoenix. Yes, I want to be able to get that Ed Yound tape from you. Are you on Facebook? I know at least two people there who have my email address. Can you tell me your screen name there?
the sheriff will not go to anyone at gunpoint about the truck. he is trying to get your goat---move your goat.
Please forgive me for being naive here, but can you please explain further what "move your goat" means. In other words, please be specific. What are you suggesting I do, DBing-wise.
