If your sitch was so bad that you felt you had to leave the relationship: Why haven't you taken steps to start the D? If you were so sure the the R was so bad that it caused you to leave, why didn't you go head finish what you started? Why are you dragging things out? Is it because you are not as sure about now about ending the R/M?
In my case, D has been filed - it's just now on hold. H and I both got cold feet when the pretrial was scheduled and immediately decided to try MC first. I don't know about others on here, but I left because I was dying emotionally. I had to leave to try to save whatever humanity was left inside of me. It has been extremely rough, but I can say that even as painful as it has been, I have accomplished what I set out to do - and that was learn how to feel again... even if that feeling seems to be pain most of the time.
Yes, things are being dragged out. And yes, mostly because neither H nor I know how we want things to end. We are still best friends, we still love each other... we just don't know if it's better for us to remain friends or to try to remain married. I never dreamed that six months later I would still be in the same position I was in when I first left (uncertainty, not knowing, etc.)... but someone once told me that my M didn't reach this point overnight so it's absurd to think that it can be fixed overnight. Those are the words of wisdom that I currently cling to....
Me (WAW) 30 H (LBS) 31 T since 6/10/1994 M 8/8/98 No kids S 3/10/08 D filed 6/9/08; put on hold 7/14/08 D finalized 10/13/08
