I don't think anyone is expressing anger towards you.
What you perceive as "scolding" I see as attempts of encouragement and to try and give you a wake up call.
Again, it is always perception -- and you seem to be, as I said before, a willful woman with a "glass half empty" type vision.
I do think it is frustrating for people on DB to watch a situation unfold, where there is clearly still lots of potential for restoration -- and watch someone give up without a fight. I've been on here a long time -- and I can't remember anyone else who has given up so easily or so quickly.
I just truly feel that b/c you are so stuck in your anger -- and rightfully hurt by the situation -- that it is your ego and pride -- which are understandably so wounded -- making the decisions. And that just breaks my heart.
But then, that is only my perception.
I do think someday you will have a clearer understanding of all of this -- and realize all the missed opportunities.
I think that many of us here on DB, who are further along the path, are sincerely trying to help you to see them now -- before they are lost forever. And there are some very effective life techniques that DO work if implemented consistently.
I have personally coached 3 dear friends to a complete restoration. So I KNOW that it can be done.
But these were 3 very determined, strong, committed women -- who sincerely wanted their marriages and families restored -- and who were humble enough -- to be willing to do whatever it took for however long it took. And it was NOT easy...but they were all successful.
I truly believe in the the marriage vows...for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.
I think most of us on DB choose to view what our H's or xH's are going through -- is part of "the worse" and/or that it falls under the "sickness" aspect of the vow. And since I am so not a quitter -- it is just astonishingly puzzling to me when I see someone just give up before they even enter the battle. I just don't "get" it.
Obviously there is no guarantee that if you do attempt to really did do the necessary work -- that it would ensure a successful restoration -- and/or the return of your "late" H or a new and improved version.
And only you can make the decision if you are willing to really fight for your marriage or not. But no matter how impossible or unlikely it may look now -- it can be done.
I think that all anyone here on DB is trying to do -- is to hopefully help prevent you from making anger and ego-based decisions that will have life-altering and life-lasting consequences.
Ultimately, we only wish you the best whatever path you choose to follow.
