(((Jeff))) thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. it is totally possible that he has NFC that I still want him and love him. AS Kalni told me long ago I am trying to be encouraging by putting that special warmth into every interaction but who knows what he can feel???
(((Julia))) you are so sweet!! I will ask One Day to give you my contact info, then you can contact me whenever your little heart desires!!
I am sure if he didn't contact me on my birthday I will be disappointed no matter how much I try to have no expectations. I mean I would be pleased even if he just sent me a text message. Or since I sent him a funny ecard (thanks to Jeff's & OD's extensive help) he might choose to mirror me and send me an ecard. (There is part of my heart that fantasizes that he will show up on my doorstep and give me a big hug and lift me off the ground and tell me he made a terrible mistake BUT... even if that is going to happen it probably won't happen for a while!)
I have many, many ideas in terms of ways to reach out... should I list them or something??? there was a point where I was in Solution Seeking Overdrive, now that we are in contact I am trying to go with his flow a little more....
When I felt so bad for a while I was certain I shouldn't contact him until I was in a better place. Now that I'm in a better place it seems right to wait a bit longer to see if he reaches out. I think normally I would let it go about 3-4 weeks of NC before reaching out, so that he reached out less than 2 weeks since we saw each other, by emailing me, is actually kind of a big deal... an acceleration on his part, maybe?
Possibilities...that have already worked... -send him a link to something inspiring/beautiful/funny, with a couple sentences about what's going on in my life -call him and say, "i just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing"
things that I haven't tried yet... -a bit of a stretch: I want to see my genius cello repairman in Boston if I decide to buy this new cello so he can do some fine tuning. It's *possible* I could try to time it so it would be a weekend when B would be there (he usually spends the night in Boston on the way to & from his orchestra job in Maine). This would involve a plane ticket... but would be a possible way to see him before late Nov/Dec (though that is not essential) -he might be on tour in Kentucky some time this fall which is more "in my neighborhood" but still like a 4-6 hour drive or something. -try to ask him more questions in a friendly email, to try to start something more back and forth -send him a ridiculously zany gift
Am I thinking too inside the box here?
We had some pretty zany ideas a while ago including returning his stash of manly underwear to him one pair at a time, via mail...
Thank you for your suggestion that I could build up a connection via good food/good cooking. I thought it was *interesting* that he asked me for that recipe because we made it together many times (he actually picked it out and told me he wanted to make it with me, and then I loved it and made it over and over and over)! But I think his stereotype of me is that i'm obsessed with food and care too much about food, so I've tried to do a lil 180 and not care so much about food around him...????? MAYBE I AM OVERANALYZING HERE
OMG thank you anyone who actually read all of that!!!!
