Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

Yes, I want my old marriage restored, but not the one I had for the past year or so. My H says he has become a different person--and that is true, he has. The new him is unappealing to me, honestly, but I miss family life and we were together for so long, that of course I miss things about him.

Seeing him reminds me of my late H (as I like to call him), which makes me sad. He insisted on needing "space," now I'm doing the same.

I'm not in denial nor am I detached--I'm just taking it a day at a time.

I appreciate the honesty--but not sure why it comes across almost as anger toward me. Everyone says how this stuff puts you on an emotional rollercoaster--yet when I fess up to being on the downswing, I am told that is unacceptable. DBing is a goal. It's admirable, for sure--but this stuff is highly stressful and we are human, after all. I don't like being scolded for doing things the "wrong" way. I am who I am and I truly have no intention of or desire to win my H back. There is no way he could undo some of what he's done and said. It's HIS loss too, even though, yes, I still struggle with anger and pain over the whole situation.

So what if my H has seen me express pain and hurt?? Good--he should know that his actions have had an effect on me.