Hey there sweetie!!!! Hope your day was wonderful and you got those socks pulled up. You are such a strong, beautiful woman! Your H is s l o w l y coming around. Here's hoping he figures out what a catch you are before you don't want to be caught anymore.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I needed a little while away from the boards to think, but thank you for thinking of me while I was away!
Ali- Jody told me not to do NC as it doesn't work in my situation (H just feels like he doesn't deserve my friendship so it works against us). She said to keep supporting him and be a friend, and that he won't come back to the R until he's totally sure of himself and of me. She said it's going to take a long time, so there's no point in me going for a quick fix. On the other hand, sometimes NC does seem an appealing option. Being nice to him and being in contact so much is sometimes very draining. Jody also said to expect that, so something's going right!
Michelle, Jeff, Julia- buying new socks is a definite goal. I bought some purple fluffy ones last week. They are very cool (and feel so soft, FYI Jeff!).
Julia- I set little goals every week for my R with H. This week it was for him to suggest meeting up, for longer eye contact and for him to take my hand. I didn't acheive any of those, which was a bit frustrating, but you can't expect increments of success each week. I think we've been going through a period of change in the 'R' we have at the moment so he may need time to process that. I feel like I do myself!
Mishka, My Lady Sunshine- thank you for the lovely compliments. You're both pretty lovely yourselves!
T- glad to see you back. I really did miss you!
So, I've had a nice couple of days. Thursday was busy at work, so that was quite good. Nothing much to report. H and I exchanged a couple of e-mails about his top 5 snacks (or what sport he'd be if he was a sport). I came home early and did some exercise.
Yesterday H sent me an e-mail mid-afternoon to tell me about his night out on Thursday. He was hungover and told me I should go to it as it had been so fun (a food/wine tasting at Whole Foods). I should have probably validated this and thanked him for the idea, but I couldn't be bothered so I didn't. He also said work was a bit better (I did validate that), and talked a bit about snacks. I replied in the same tone, possibly a little colder, telling him an amusing story about a gift that arrived for me.
Meanwhile, CEO has been a bit ambiguous in his behaviour. I'll post this separately but could do with some male insight....
So, CEO. (Sorry Jeff- there's going to be a lot of CEO in this post). and sorry everyone- it's long, and I'm venting a bit.
- on Thursday a work-related conversation about our team event last night (we were going to watch England play Portugal at Wembley Stadium) ended with CEO and I laughing at a joke about my former boss thinking an invite to the football was a euphemism for something else. It was good natured laughing, but a bit odd (?) to be laughing at a joke about that. CEO obviously thought it was amusing enough to tell a couple of other people about the joke, but WTF?
- yesterday we had our team outing. On the way to the tube station, CEO walked off in front, then turned around, waited for me and put his unbrella hirizontally under my bottom to draw me alongside him as we walked forward. It then started raining and he shared his umbrella with me (this is new behaviour- he usually shares nothing). - on the escalators going down to the train CEO stood below me and faced looking right into my eyes while we spoke - on the tube CEO guided me onto the train by putting his nad in the small of my back. It was crowded so we stood close together. I could tell exactly, but it felt as though he was relaxed against me, rather than the more formal contact you sometimes have with people on the tube - when we got seats CEO sat next to me with his leg against mine - when we arrived, CEO and I had to wait for another person. CEO told me a story about a girl he's been texting and her not responding well when he told her his age - sitting at dinner, CEO had his leg against mine and periodically touched my arm - going down to the football, CEO got me to go along with him and periodically touched me on the arm to get my attention. He sat with his leg touching mine during the match. I playfully slap him a couple of times. - second half and the interval, we didn't speak - after the match we sit drinking tea while the others are drinking drink. CEO looks over and catches my eye as he speaks to the person on the other side of me. Legs touching under the table again. I touch CEO's arm twice (like a pinch as he's said he has no body fat, and scientifically that can't be true). - on the way back to the tube station, we walk alongside each other laughing at the drunk people (our colleagues). CEO tells me about another girl who's just propositioned him by text, and then later challenges me to race up some stairs against him. (this seems a bit of playground flirting behaviour?) - when the group splits, I get hugs and a kiss (cheek) from the other guys. CEO kisses the other girls - the last three of us sit on the tube. CEO is diagonally opposite from me and our legs end up with one of his legs between mine (not touching but close). Like we are making leg sandwiches with each others' legs as the filling (if this makes sense?) - I get no kiss goodbye from him (on the cheek), and I don't hug him either. He seems a little surprised when I say 'this is my stop' and go to leave (I may be imagining this).
So, it all seems a bit odd to me. It's flirtatious behaviour, but I can't interpret it (again) because it goes so far and then stops. He doesn't sit in physical contact with the others as far as I can tell. On the other hand, if he actually meant anything as a serious flirtation, he could have kissed me on the cheek yesterday. In fact it was more odd that he kissed the other girls and not me (and vice versa for me and the other boys), if that makes sense?
*sigh* his chin doesn't seem so icky today. That can only be bad news. I'm not really sure what he means- whether he sees this as being friendly, or if he knows he's being flirtatious. I guess he can't be intending to flirt as he talks about other women with me. On the other hand, no kiss on the cheek when the others all got one suggests.... what? I'm not really sure.
Anyway, so it's all very confusing. I feel confused. I really had such a good time last night- it was really good to go out and laugh and be in the company of a guy who flirts with me (even if he doesn't realise that he does). I wonder if my other colleagues notice anything a bit odd about all of this, or if there's nothing to notice and it's just me. If anyone has enlightening words of wisdom on the topic they'd be much appreciated! And very muchy appreciated anyway if anyone got through all that.
I'm not sure what you're asking us.. is he flirting, does he want an R with you, or are you wondering how you feel about the possibility of him flirting with you!? I think you answered your own question in that is he flirting with you...clearly he is and has been for months. The text stories are a male plummage thing, hey look at all these random lesser woman I am in contact with, but then he lets you know its not going anywhere. Men dont touch parts of your body at work, unless they're sleazy, or they fancy you and picking up something.
As for your H.. that makes me wonder if I SHOULD keep contacting my ex then, but I guess my instinct says not, enough is enough. With you, I know Jody is the expert, but I still dont think he has had to feel the loss of you...you are still an option and whilst the option is still there, he isnt going to take it, its human nature. I suppose I meant just not be quite so available, as opposed to emailing back every time, but sounds like you were a bit more cool with him anyway!
I see your H floundering with someone who he is not in love with (so why is he bothering being in an R with her???) and I see you getting stronger. I also see CEO as someone who has a lot to offer, who has spoken to you about M and kids (?) although you say he seems a bit of a player...but maybe he is looking for the one and as he is getting old, maybe he is ready to settle down?
And sounds like he is slowly having an effect on you and good for you Lisa! I gaurantee that if you started dating CEO and stopped responding to your H's immature emails (sorry, but I think he is) then H would be at your door with flowers and begging you back. Maybe you could save that as a last resort technique!
The question is, how would you feel/react if he did ask you out? I guess the confusion over CEOs behaviour may be becuase it is a very very awkward situation...him being your boss and it a small company and the man is desperately doing all he can to get an inkling of whether you're interested in him, without actually over stepping the mark because of work..But what does everyone else think???
Weird as I thought I had posted about 10 minutes ago, not sure what happened...
Anyway I am clearly not a professional advice dispenser, BUT I'm happy to offer my opinions here.
The one thing that I am confused on when reading your post is whether you actually ARE interested in something with the CEO. Would you be up for anything or is it just the flirting that you find enjoyable?
So, though I don't know either of you personally, so don't know whether legs touching is a normal part of the way you 2 interact with others, I'll give my take...
I think him NOT kissing you on the cheek and kissing the others speaks volumes. It is so normal to actually go out of your way to pay less attention to someone that you are interested in to sort of make up for the feelings, or this is what I've found anyway. I would also say that him telling you about other girls fits in with flirting. I know that when I was single, I would often tell guys about things I had going on with other men, not serious things, but flings or dates, in fact I even did this with my H, and he with me... I find that it serves to make you more interesting and desirable.
Assuming he is not a touchy-feely guy, I think the legs touching bit and that kind of physical closeness is also very telling.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
