Lwb, yes, our children can indeed become "fine" over time and with a lot of love and careful effort. But in no way can anyone in their right mind make the claim that -- even in the best of situations -- children come away unscathed by D.
My H has said that "script" stuff too: after D the kids will be happier, I'll be happier, he doesn't say but I know he believes he will be much happier also of course!!! I do know that when he was my S' age his parents also got D after 18 or 19 years of marriage and H became suicidal. So I think they have to try to do a great bit of denial and just generally not thinking too much about it! And my H also likes to be the Disney Dad, taking them to lots of fun places when he sees them and bringing them home with half a dozen new toys I think b/c of guilt. And yeah, I don't think most of our WAS are in their right minds!!! Karen
