Ok, so because I'm a total doorknob when it comes to this stuff...I have a few questions.
1. What is the psychology around why asking questions about the future solidifies the WAS's decision to be done? 2. H has some real issues with not having felt appreciated by me....for example...I read Love Languages and realized H's love language is gifts/cards and words of praise. That is not my love language so I wasn't good about giving it to him. He is going through some stuff at work right now and has been having interviews...since I know his love language now and I want him to feel good about himself I was thinking of sending him a card with some words of encouragement. Is that too much??? Will he think it insincere? 3. What the hell do I talk about with him so that I can keep my mouth shut about R??? 4. Should I continue to invite him for dinner periodically even though he always turns me down? This is so hard because I'm afraid if I stop he will think "see I knew she didn't really care about me...when the going got tough she stopped". 5. I have this same question about the sex....H's BIGGEST complaint was lack of interest in him sexually...if I don't show interest will he think I haven't changed? When we have sex it's the only time he acts "normal" to me...of course right after things go south. 6. Should you really not believe what they say??? I mean damn...he told me he never sees himself coming back...those are some strong words and they hurt like hell. 7. My DB Coach said there is a tipping point in this type of situation where the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern changes and it's 3 steps forward 2 steps back...how the hell do you know when you are getting closer to that. 8. What actions should you be encouraged by vs. just deluding yourself into thinking things are a good sign. 9. Nik? How the hell did you do this?????????
