Trusting, You're at a low point here. Keep that in mind. Of course you feel abandoned and hurt. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.
Remember you can move on and GAL but still DB at the same time. You can continue to be kind to H while still having boundaries.
I also felt abandoned when my mom was very ill. Notice the article on the main page "Where were you when I needed you?"
H has never inquited about anyone in my family. Your H did extend you some kindness during this time (which I doubt my H would do). And he seemed to feel that he wanted to reach out to you but did not know how.
Let yourself grieve here. And let yourself let go....
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D