It sounds like control is exactly right. What u & ur H r doing is so smart, unentangling urselves. Generosity can sometimes just be a mask for control. Someday u and me should have a beer & compare notes on ur family & my H's--they sound soooo similar.
Hang in there & keep using ur DB techniques on 'em!
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
