Except the LBS, who everyone felt bad for, then awkward, then she just didn't fit into their circle any more.
Uhhhh...why didn't they rally around the LBS?
Perhaps because she didn't get a life, and it seems that the WAS and the world, for that matter, will kick people when they are down. The WAS in the Four Seasons was in free-fall, and everyone let her fall through the cracks. Act like a victim and people will gladly pull the lever that executes you.
Sorry to be so cynical. It just seems to me, these days, that if I don't care for myself, no one will.
--Theoden
Ooooh, been there, done that. A couple of times. For me, it was more a matter of feeling like I'm at the beach--trying to stand up after getting knocked down by a wave, trying to catch my breath, but then getting knocked down by the next wave.
But yeah--it's like they are sharks sensing blood in the water, circling and going in for the attack. (I'm keeping with the ocean theme here!) The only thing to do is keep taking deep breaths and struggling toward the shore and try to do it with a smile on your face.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Why does it bother you about Brad and Angelina moving to France? Just wondering?
The Horse Whisperer was an interesting film in that it showed how a monumental disaster can cause marital rifts....and yet they can be healed aswell.....even though both S's may have to make a different journey before they can reunite.
BTW Nicholas Evans is currently unwell in Scotland after eating poisoned mushrooms. Have you read his other books?
I find that I get very uncomfortable when I read books that seem to glamorise infidelity. I am the sort of person who feels defeated if I don't finish a book...but some I just cannot stomach now.... I have to pick and choose.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Ages ago you were going to email me on life changes / choices etc....are you still interested to explore this? I am really at a cross roads, and advice would be welcome.
BTW - you DO need to look after yourself. You are important.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I assume it's the article about the minister punting his marriage and ministry to find "soul-joy" with his affair partner.
Very insightful article. It's almost anti-DB, in a wierd way.
We always talk about getting a life, being fun, being the better option, etc.
But what if the OM or OW, is the better option? It's still not right, is it? That's Crabb's point. He's honest that sometimes doing the wrong thing might make you happier or more fulfilled -- what then?
With Brad and Angelina, on the surface, we all can say that Angelina blows Jennifer Anniston away. Jennifer seems superficial compared with Angelina. Angelina is more passionate, dangerous, intelligent, deep and socially concious.
But what if the OM or OW, is the better option? It's still not right, is it? That's Crabb's point. He's honest that sometimes doing the wrong thing might make you happier or more fulfilled -- what then?
With Brad and Angelina, on the surface, we all can say that Angelina blows Jennifer Anniston away. Jennifer seems superficial compared with Angelina. Angelina is more passionate, dangerous, intelligent, deep and socially concious.
Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
--Theoden
Nope. I don't think the OP is ever a better option. What kind of person gets involved with a married man or woman? (And in my case, the OW was married with kids also.) I think at some level to do this kind of behavior they are dysfunctional.
OK, does anyone think Brad & Angelina will grow old together? Probably not, I think he's her 3rd husband or something? But Jenifer I'm thinking is more like an LBS, more faithful, loyal, dependable. I'm more into faithful, loyal, dependable people but I guess that's just me? Obviously a lot of WAS are not!!! Karen
I assume it's the article about the minister punting his marriage and ministry to find "soul-joy" with his affair partner.
Very insightful article. It's almost anti-DB, in a wierd way.
We always talk about getting a life, being fun, being the better option, etc.
But what if the OM or OW, is the better option? It's still not right, is it? That's Crabb's point. He's honest that sometimes doing the wrong thing might make you happier or more fulfilled -- what then?
With Brad and Angelina, on the surface, we all can say that Angelina blows Jennifer Anniston away. Jennifer seems superficial compared with Angelina. Angelina is more passionate, dangerous, intelligent, deep and socially concious.
Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
--Theoden
Hey, about that article....where can I find it?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
OK, does anyone think Brad & Angelina will grow old together? Probably not, I think he's her 3rd husband or something? But Jenifer I'm thinking is more like an LBS, more faithful, loyal, dependable. I'm more into faithful, loyal, dependable people but I guess that's just me? Obviously a lot of WAS are not!!! Karen
I agree with you that adultery and divorce are awful, because they are inherently wrong. In most cases, the results are disastrous. However, I don't think it's the negative results that make it a bad choice, it's the moral case that make it wrong. Remember in DB they never say adultery is wrong, they just tell you to make yourself the better option.
However, in a small number of cases the WAS and the OP walk off into the sunset and the LBS can't seem to make themselves appear to be the "better" or "more attractive" option.
I think Brad and Angelina will make it to old age together. I still think it's wrong and ugly. But from a purely "human" individual hapiness index, Brad is happier with Angelina than with Jennifer.
John Mcain's current wife is his affair partner that he left his former wife for. They've been married for a long time.
If 65%-75% of marriages with affair partners fail, then 25-35% succeed.
The article I was referring to takes into account that sometimes, sin and the wrong choices, seem to bring us greater joy than obedience and faithfulness.
