I really hate this place. I should have never started posting here because all it does is add to the drama.
Then why don't you stop? Why do you do something you hate? What are you looking for here? If you tell us perhaps we could respond with what you are looking for, or we can realize that whatever it is, we can't provide it to you.
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I already know some idiot is going to bash me for treat others the way you want to be treated comment, so don't even go there.
You just did it yourself, which I think is a great step because I can see that YOU are realizing it yourself now. Now all you need to do is execute that control when you converse with her. Some of this stuff is sinking in. I'm so glad to see that in you.
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And the dynamics about the kids the advice given about the kids staying with me on nights she works. Isn't going to work. All she is going to do is cause a big scene and get the children all upset.
I'm wondering if you really think having the kids stay with you on that schedule is the best thing for them (and it seems to be) can you deal with the 'scene' and do what's best for them?
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Yes, I know I had to go tit for tat with her about the shoe prints. Because I know she would have went to town on me. If I would have let it go then she would think nothing of it.
What I'm saying is whatever is good for the goose is never good for the gander with her.
I think you're right, she did need to be told that she made a mess on your floor. But did the rest of the conversation need to happen? What did you gain from it?
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Insolent, vexatious, and quarrelsome. WHY?
She's testing you, she wants you to be calm, strong and assertive. She pushes your buttons to see if you'll continue to deteriorate into the argumentative, judgmental man she has been living with and you take the bait. Phil, you are SO much better than this.
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Why do I want her back? Because I love her? I always did? It didn't matter to me how she acted, what she said.
But then I would get to the point when I just could not take it anymore.
So then it DOES matter how she acts and what she does. You can only 'absorb' it for so long until there is nothing left in Phil to keep 'fixing' it.
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Yes your right. When she hung up on me I should have just let it go. Not texted. Like I was looking for an excuse to talk to my wife. Yes, your right, because I yearn to hear her voice.
I should have not told my children to put their mother on. For one it was a bad time. She was flustered trying to get them to school. Etc... Bad timing. I should have been just happy with the fact that she said she was sorry.
Remember, you said this, not 'me' or 'us'. So YOU'RE the one who is 'right' here. Now that you see it you can start to practice it.
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Imageer, I'm sick of the high fiving and supporting of others peoples post. Keep your comments about what others say to yourself.
Ok, what I'm reading in this comment is you didn't like Imageer's reference to 'others helping' or whatever. I thought a lot of Imageers last 2 posts were very helpful. Didn't you find some good stuff in them? People care about you Phil, that's a blessing.
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Then why would you want to be with a person who treats you this way?
Because when you are verbally abused for 13 years by the person you love, you are used to it. It is normal, and you know what. Someone already said. They all act that way.
This shouldn't be 'normal' Phil. In fact in real mature relationships it isn't normal. You are worth a lot more than how you are being treated. The comment "they all act that way" is in reference to the WAW's, not to women in general. A normal, mature and whole woman doesn't treat their husband the way she treats you.
You are worth so much more.
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Bighands, go away you were not helpful. I'm only angry now because the situation is so crazy. I have no control. I can't control it, and I'm a person about cosmic order and logic.
Ahh, but you DO have control. Over you. Over your actions. And you know it. You admonished yourself in this post for texting her and arguing with her because, as you know, you failed to exert control and stop yourself from doing those things.
You have control Phil. Not over her, over you.
Remember the one big rule about life: When you change, everyone around you changes also.
Take control Phil. You can do it. You're getting closer every day.
