I suggest you read Erin Thiele's book, and then decide for yourself what you want to do. And pray for God to give you direction as you read the book. Here's the link to what Summer posted me - it has links to Erin's book "How God Will Restore Your Marriage" and to the website where you can order the books (cheaper on the website, but you have to register). Post #1346666 with links to Erin's books.
I personally do not believe in tough love, never have. I stopped reading Dr. Dobson's book on tough love and moved on to read Divorce Remedy which started my entire journey to restoring my M.