Advice-Husband moved in with OW(I'm a Newby)

[marisol35]

My H use to always tell me he would NEVER have an affair because it was not worth it because of the great R we had. We never fought, we had discussions but never raised our voices, our intimacy was never a problem, we always did everything together! So when the 1st A came out it was a complete shock to me and before I could even recover from that he hits me with another one.

The 1st A didn't work because that woman was M too and she had 3 kids. He did not want to be a father to those kids which is why that didn't last very long. He has always been adamant about not wanting any more kids at all. With the 2nd A this is just a girl whose 21 so she has no kids and no responsibilities so it was much EASIER for him to jump into that and was so eager to leave. Its pretty much a given that she is living there with him and his son.

My D who is 16 wants nothing to do with him. She is not taking his calls, responding to his texts, nothing. She said she is disappointed in him, she doesn't respect him, and that he is not the same person she knew and loved. She said she doesn't hate him but that it would never be the same. The other night when he came to get his son and had the OW, when I cried she told me that there is someone out there for me and that I didn't deserve this and that I was beautiful. That made me cry even more.

I am trying to stay focused and trying to see the light in things but its so hard when you see your H and just want to say all these things to change their mind. But they have to do that on their own.

Sometimes I feel like I can't do this. I can't wait 6 months, a year, 2 years, like some have done on this forum. How can you just sit and wait in the wings while your spouse goes and lives their life and when it doesn't work out with the OP then they come back to you? How is that right?