What you said about the "pressure" is so true- never mind what is really happening, it's all about Ws PERCEPTIONS of what is happening. I went to my counseling session last night and, although for obvious reasons of not wanting to violate confidentiality she couldn't tell me anything about what was said specifically, the counselor shared with me that W was "less than forthcoming" about what's going on with her side of things. Big surprise. If she feels cornered into going to counseling, it's not going to work. Actually, this is probably a blessing in disguise. Later on, if it gets to the point where she feels that counseling might help, then it's an avenue that we really haven't tried "for real", and it might be a realistic option.
I came to a very ugly realization a couple nights ago. I think I may have a VERY rough road ahead of me- rougher than I could ever imagine. I found out that OM is one to keep his emotional cards very close to his chest, and is very reluctant to let anybody into his emotional "inner sanctum" unless he really, really trusts them. Bad news for me. That's going to draw my W in like a moth to a flame. Let's face it - mystery is sexy. The longer he takes, the longer this takes.
I know I need to work on me for ME, but I can't help it. There are parts of me scheming ways to turn her attention away from the OM and make her think about me more when she's not around me. That's one of her big issues. She wants to be with me only when she's AROUND me. I need to generate some mystery myself, but how? The first time I end our weekly encounter early, she drops the D bomb. What next? If I tell her that I can't see her at all next week, does she just run off to the OM to fill her time in? I don't know. Do you have any suggestions? What would you do in her shoes?
L8r, -Jimbo
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
