Tal, my vote is to make it unanimous for sex. (May of 2007 for me, Doc.) All the experts agree that intimacy between the parents is crucial for the family -- it's in the best interests of your children.
The confusion and exasperation you expressed at you H's desire to address the need for sex with you as a chief priority has reminded me of some books I read last year. If you don't mind a suggestion, the book, "For Men Only" by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn might be a good read for your H, while you might be interested in it's counterpart "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. These books reflect the subtle psychological differences between the genders that may not be quite so obvious. These really solidified for me why husbands and wives can get so frustrated with each other's behaviors. It's stuff people have always observed but never understood, all put together in a consistent explanation.
I have read the 'women's' version of those books. I have to say that I laughed like a drain at the stereotypical outlooks and the reasons for them....but at the same time made note of them.
tal - they are very easy reads and might help you with your H.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Yes I know its important, I just figured after going that long without seeing your kids, you would want to see them first. But i guess all of you are right about what his needs are right now.
Its a mute point anyway. He won't be coming home until Sunday afternoon late, and my mom can't take them then, and s5 has school Monday. S2 starts pre-school on Monday so if H takes off a couple hours on Monday I guess that's when we'll have some free time
Thanks for the book suggestion nocodes,saffie. I will try and get to the book store this wkend maybe and grab it.
Another great day at kindergarten for S5, I was a little better today. S2 is having it a little rough. He misses his brother so much. I've just been giving him as much attention as I can to compensate.
hope everyone has a good nite
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
When my boys were younger, my 2 year old cried as his brother went off without him. He insisted we buy him a backpack too and was sure we would then have to let him go with brother. It was so sweet, it broke my heart.
The girls were similar. Baby was 4 and big sister was 5 1/2. I had to walk her and her brother to the bus stop and baby was in her car seat, still in the car like 5 steps away. She screamed and fought to get out of her seat. She cried miserably for 40 minutes. She wanted me to leave the door open to the house so sister could find her way home. I finally calmed her down by giving her a bath. She looked at me with those big teary eyes and said she was sorry she was so upset, she just had never had sister leave her before.
Maybe give him a back pack with crayons and paper and have him do "school" stuff. Will help him feel a bit better I bet.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Today Actually went better. He wasn't upset, just hugged and kissed him goodbye and that was it. Monday S2 starts pre-school so I think this will defintely make a difference.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Remember what we discussed once about people being better parents if they take more time for themselves. Your H 's LL is physical contact his need is for you. Yes it is sex but I feel it's emotional connection for him too. He just needs to learn to meet yours also. Have you told him these in black and white?
Talk Later Jak
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
