Do what works. Going dark with my wife is not the answer.
Being nice and humble.
Get treated like crap and still be involved in everyone of beckon calls. Then even if I do that. She'll find fault.
Please, thank you for the advice... I will consider it. I'm telling the story, and why I know it will not work. I know my wife like a book. I know how she acts about things. Never good enough.
Then why would you want to be with a person who treats you this way? What are the reasons to stay with her as she is now?
And no, don't say "for the kids". This relationship is destructive on the kids. You know this is true. You know it.
Phil, I know you're a good man and you love your kids, you love your wife. These are all admirable traits in a good man.
Phil, you deserve to be in a calm, loving, stress free marriage to a woman who values you. What would have to change for you to have that marriage? Don't just respond but really think about it.
As far as 'going dark', I totally understand how that won't work for you. I suggest 'gray' instead. That means that you DO answer calls when she calls and you DO reply to texts that are legitimate questions.
What you DON'T do is initiate texts, don't call her for reasons other than information about the kids, and NEVER EVER REACT to ANYTHING she says that is negative. If it's on the phone, in person or text, just say "You're right" and nothing else.
Once you AGREE what can she say next? You took the wind out of her sails. And if she does keep going say 'Yeah, you're right'. "Uh huh". "Yes".
BUT, if it turns into real abuse, tell her you're hanging up if she doesn't act civil / leaving / or don't reply to the text.
Be the strong one, when she's the tornado, you need to be the rock that can't be swayed.
You're a tough man and I have faith that you can do this 'gray' thing. That you can be the rock.
Try it, I think you will be surprised.
Oh, and people aren't telling you to be 'humble' to your wife, they are asking you to show some humility on this board. Your Wife needs to see a consistent 'rock' who isn't swayed and doesn't react to her storms.
