What you call bashing, I see as people trying to help you through a rough time. These people do not want to attack you they only want to help you. To do this, they are pointing out where they think you need to change what you are doing to help your M.
Regarding your kids, I would calmly tell them that you understand that they want to be with their mother but at the moment they are spending the night with you and then put them to bed.
If you W shows up, simply tell her that they are in bed and that she can talk to them in the morning. Again, be calm and be nice.
If she gets upset, tell her that you are sorry she feels that way but it is not in the best interest of the kids to get them up.
I cannot say enough how important it is for you to be calm. You and your W are feeding off each other. When she gets upset, you get upset which makes her more upset and then you get more upset and the cycle continues. You can control this by not getting upset. Say to yourself "Nothing she can say or do wil get me upset"
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
