jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepers Phil

if you need to journal stuff out...then get a journal

this board is to have other people read what you write aboutyour situation and offer support

if people posting on here spins you out of control

well...then Phil...you absolutely do need some serious help

why are you antagonising your wife by joining PTA?
and
don't con yourself into thinking your kids don't feel the pressure you are BOTH putting on them

take a breath
slow down
get some help

suck it up and do it for your kids