God give me the patience and the strength...6

[theotherhalf]

toh, what can you do to build this up?

I really don't know WCW. I think that over the years I did become more confident in myself. But I'm the type of person (raised to be) that says what she thinks. Stands up for what she believes. And the more confident I became, the more I said too much or spoke when I shouldn't have, etc... I started to become my Mother and though I love her dearly she is way to forward.

My confidence was in my work ethic, being a good person, honesty, pride, that kind of stuff. But I've never been confident in the man department. It's been many many years that I've felt pretty or sexy or that a man would want me. Weight gain took all that away.

When H left me I lost 50 lbs. I really liked the way I looked. I bought new clothes. Started wearing makeup again. Got a new doo. Really tried to feel sexy again. H didn't notice a thing. And neither did any other guy worth looking at twice. Sure a few low lifes have turned my way a time or two but woo hoo.

I've tried everything WCW. I lost weight. I joined a gym. I went out. All of it. And bottom line is still the same. H left me for a fat, ugly, pathetic wh*re. Not so good on my self esteem no matter what I do...