what did you do to survive

[No_hill_for_a_Swimmer]

Hi AO and Barb
First I like to state a fact in Prehospital Medicine caffeen is one of the 5 major food groups along with
Sugar
Salt
Fat
and Preservitives

A bowl of Chocolate ice cream fits all of the above and Pizza has 4 of the five

My ans
1. What did you do to survive?
At first my world dramaticaly shrank. Pretty much kept to myself realizing that what got me into that fine mess needed to be undone. I pointed the spotlight at me since I am the only thing that I can fix outside of my bike and truck.
I had to come to the point where I could be content without a significant other. Later I just realized I actually like being alone without asking any permission. That has extended to other areas of my life.

It was similar to staying at a storm shelter until the winds of change slowed and one could assess damage. That takes a long while and is unsettling when the tornado is overhead and storm door just got ripped off. You realize you are not in Kansas anymore.

2. What mistakes did you make?
At first I did not pursue aggressively an ortho injury aggreviated by my Military service so I wasted time nursing a bumb sholder for over a year. Cost me training for a FF job that would have been well suited for my demeanor. However I probably would not have lifeguarded.
It took a long time to break the habits of 'She done me wrong, and victim'. While reading the subject is one thing practice is another.

3. What was your best victory?
a. The return of my relationship with my StepSon who joined the Marines and shows a pic of me and a Marine just after a grappling match. The culture celebrates crazyness.
b. The fact I maintained relationships with my D14. I maintain any contact with my X because of her but she is very strict and I am not thus a good mix.
c. I have lowered my level for risk management after loosing almost all physical assets though I do not have reaped massive rewards the education and excitement is priceless. I still calculate the risk/gain but the ratio has changed dramatically favoring the risk side of the formula.

4. What was your worst loss?
Watching a parent slip due to alzeimers and the related loss.
I would say a former life but that life sucked. I was a 24X7 punching bag from several angles (former job, family, others ) and I have no desire to return there.

5. Are you happier now and why?
Very much so. Though one is responsible for their own aditude it is easier to do so while not fighting constant headwinds created by people with an agenda.
I know what I am and I do not worry about the opinions of others. I do not ask for their praise and I do absolutely nothing to generate such praise. Being a former praise junkie that is a 180. In short 'Don't hang around for the attaboys'.

Addendum: I basicly found out the purpose, vision, of who I was in order to set the Goals, then work in that direction. When others (good intentioned or not) chime in one can tell if that advice or influence is benificial or not. I know what makes me happy and do not even attempt to go other directions no matter how profitable or recommended.

At times my threads degenerate to a blog but at first exist for to explain to the new Survivors there is light at the end of the tunnel and focus on the DB tools that will enable one to sidestep the oncoming trains. The tunnel often takes years to emerge and like anything else in life some emerge faster than others.

Good: It is not a race it is a journey and do what it takes to enjoy the journey so if the goal is not as promised you have something.
Bad: Like a tunnel there are no shortcuts just false endoftunnel lights one needs to avoid otherwise one will return to the start of such tunnel.