"The Four Seasons," 1981, Alan Alda's directorial debut. Three couples vacation together over the years; one husband has a mlc, dumps his wife, assumes he'll remain part of the group....
I remember that film. Very well done. If I recall, in the beginning, the group feels quite bad about their friend dumping his wife and taking up with a woman about half his age. But in the end, they accepted him and the OW and everyone lived happily ever after.
Except the LBS, who everyone felt bad for, then awkward, then she just didn't fit into their circle any more.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
"The Four Seasons," 1981, Alan Alda's directorial debut. Three couples vacation together over the years; one husband has a mlc, dumps his wife, assumes he'll remain part of the group....
I remember that film. Very well done. If I recall, in the beginning, the group feels quite bad about their friend dumping his wife and taking up with a woman about half his age. But in the end, they accepted him and the OW and everyone lived happily ever after.
Except the LBS, who everyone felt bad for, then awkward, then she just didn't fit into their circle any more.
But if she had been a DBer she would have done lots of GALing, made lots of new friends that were more loyal and dependable, and lived even more happily ever after. Karen
As I recall, at some point she took up photography and took photos of thin fruit slices on a lightbox. Sorry, I don't know how else to describe it, but she had a fruit thing going.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
"Unfaithful" was just on the other night. I watched it and was living vicariously through Richard Gere when he smashed that French guy (who was screwing his wife) over the head and "oops!"... killed him.... Ummm... Maybe I still have some anger issues!
OK, I just saw "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and it was very eye-opening for me. Just the way her H treated her in the beginning of the movie; the lack of respect and some of the things he said to her were things my H has said to me. And of course had an affair. It very much has a satisfying ending to it that I think we all wish we could have; the cheating H gets what he deserves. A lot of the film had some really wise stuff in it; I don't know who wrote it but someone that really has been a WAS I would think! It's a comedy but it has so many of those moments I could identify with that I cried in some parts too though!!! Karen
If I recall she didn't run off with the guy and "find her bliss" because she couldn't fathom hurting her kids or leaving them. I think the message was that she chose the life of boredom and routine for her kids. She chose against herself and her deepest desires. I don't think she cared much about her husband, it was just the kids that mattered. It really describes what most WAS feel like.
Roger Ebert summarized it this way: "The Bridges of Madison County is about two people who find the promise of perfect personal happiness, and understand, with sadness and acceptance, that the most important things in life are not always about making yourself happy."
I think somewhere in that statement is the dark lie that all WAS believe: "the promise of perfect, personal happiness". Hmmmmm.
The romance happened in the 1950's, I think and she had a choice between a dull life and running away with a stanger, which might have been true back then.
Today she would get a divorce, get half the farm, have Clint Eastwood move in and have a "blended family", where the kids get a new Stepdad. Ouch.
Except the LBS, who everyone felt bad for, then awkward, then she just didn't fit into their circle any more.
Uhhhh...why didn't they rally around the LBS?
Perhaps because she didn't get a life, and it seems that the WAS and the world, for that matter, will kick people when they are down. The WAS in the Four Seasons was in free-fall, and everyone let her fall through the cracks. Act like a victim and people will gladly pull the lever that executes you.
Sorry to be so cynical. It just seems to me, these days, that if I don't care for myself, no one will.
I have another subject for everyone to ponder. It seems that when celebrities find their "soul mates" it is soon forgotten and they are soon worshipped again.
An example of this would be Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I must admit that they are two of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They also do good things. I just can't get past the fact though that he was married when they fell in love. I can't bring myself to like or respect them anymore.
It's sad how society overlooks celebrity infidelity. I guess when the celebs are doing it, why can't "ordinary" people do it also?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
The media, like the characters in Four Seasons, are very forgiving of happy couples that met though infidelity.
Celebs are role models, like it or not. We don't act any better than our role models, do we?
What did Brad see in Angelina? Someone wild, romantic, passionate, free with her emotions, maternal and interested in changing the world.
Jennifer was glamorous and beautiful, but it seemed, a little less deep, more restrained and, "sterile".
Brad and Jennifer didn't have children (not that this seems to stop people these days)so there was less holding them together. There were no financial obstacles (both had tons of money). What negative consequences would follow? So why not leave your spouse and follow your bliss? Brad saw no obstacles to geting what what Roger Ebert calls "the prospect or perfect personal happiness."
The right thing would have been to stay with his wife (given my religious understanding). The passionate, "joyful" thing was to go after Angelina.
There's a great article by Larry Crabb about this very subject from a Christian perspective. He says that we, as Christians, expect that by doing the "right thing" we will, in most instances, be more happy. What if there was someone (OW/OM) who God does not intend for you to be invovled with who could provide perfect, personal happiness? (Or at least more happiness that you have known in your current marriage, family or career)? If it's all about being personally happy in this life, without the prospect of the Life to Come, then how could we fault Brad?
ok wow...I can't stand either one of them (brad or angelina) I get so tired of hearing about them in the media, like knowone has ever had twins, and don't get me started on the fact that they want to live in france.
Anyways.. what about that movie Horse whisperer. I actually liked that movie, Its an eye opener,she really falls in love with Robert Redford and you think she's going to stay with him, but chooses her husband and daughter.
Its a good one if you haven't seen it.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Karen