Is he starting to come home?

[No Longer BH]

Thanks everyone. No need for hugs here, I am doing great, but really do appreciate all the love anyway. Root, I agree, I need to Detach again. I am starting to get sucked back into the sitch and I have decided to just be thankful for the friendship we have. My heart is still open to him, but I also understand that he needs to go his own way. Does nt mean that his journey may not lead back here though, just not counting on it.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty sick and it was H night with our S. I asked him if he would mind me just hanging around the house, I would not interfer with his time or he could just take S out somewhere and have fun. They stayed here and H checked on me a couple of times to make sure I was ok and even made me diner if I wanted it. After he put S to bed came and talked to me for a few minutes about S. I told him it was getting late and I was tired so I would see him on Wed. because we had an appointment to see S pricipal due to his anxiety. Got a big hug and he left.

Today, I was dressed so darn tooten cute (very high PMA day) and was walking to the school. H pulled up next to me and rolled down the window and said, "Hey baby, how much?" I laughed and said "Well, I aint cheap but sure am easy!" He opened the car door and said he would drive me the rest of the way. While we were talking to the principal she said, "Wow, you two sure dont act like you are getting divorced. Please dont do it. I did it a few years ago and it was awful!" Can we say ACKWARD!!! Anyway, he was all cheery during and after the meeting and drove me home. Said he really appreciated the note I left him last night (Slipped a note into his laptop that said thank you for being there and helping our son. Your really are a great dad) but still felt he had a long road ahead of him before he could feel like he was good at anything. He says he is still carrying so much guilt for everything he has done. I said that I understood how he felt and that no journey was ever complete, there was always room for improvement in everyone. Smiled, gave me a hug and said he would see me tomorrow night.

I swear it is like old times, but I need to realize that we are no longer a couple. I need to just except that we are friends and that needs to just be good enough. I think it may be easier to let go of him this way than the other hurtful, hateful way we were going about it.