Supportive and Proud Weather She Likes it or Not!!

[JWS]

Well guys today was an interesting day and I need to let a few things out because I can’t tell her. Today would have been one of those days where I come home with an uneasy smile on my face and just hold her in my arms for as long as I could, and she would know with out speaking that there was a very good chance that I may not have come home and we would eventually talk it out.

I have always taken the position that I don’t want to shield her from any of the realities of the job therefore tell her everything. She seems to be very appreciative of that and it helps to know that things do go wrong but we can manage them. Some spouses are different and insist that the bad stuff is never discussed in front of them.

A few months ago we lost someone at work and although we did not know him she was devastated, then a buddy of mine had a close call but was uninjured and she was again devastated. Today was my turn. Bottom line I am safe, but it was a S*$T ton of luck and very good timing that kept me that way because this had absolute potential to not end this way.

I know that for myself talking to her would help, but I know that I would not be good for her. I wish I could say look how easily I could be gone do you really want to go to my funeral this way, but of course I can not, nor would not say that. I know that she could not handle this now but keeping it from her seems wrong. Maybe it’s just different because everything is different right now.

I did have a good talk with my little brother, who is a combat vet and has to face death him self a time or two so that was good. Plus it was one hell of a learning experience. You wish it was smooth sailing all the time but if it is not going to be at least you and every one around you had better learn from the mistakes. All part of the fun I geuss!!

Name this movie: “the defense department wishes to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid”