about H being angry, during the LS paperwork stbx was the biggest a-hole ever, even told me a few choice words and to drop dead. Fast forward to now we get along, talk normal and he thinks I'm his friend (yea right, he's more like a business associate to me, the business being the kids) So dont' sweat it hon, dont' take everything personally, hopefully he'll act like a human being in the future.
About the D, do NOT sign anything without a L seeing it!! what did you just sign? I also got the "get your L my L will make you sign xzy", it is crazy talk hon. Can you give me a summary of the financial/house sitch? I was able to refinance my home, pay him off and kept the house, it was so worth it. And I'm afraid you are coming off as controlling, it is hard to let go and hard to stop resisting, but you must MUST realize that your life didnt' end with him leaving, that there is more to life than being M to him.
These paragraphs are from my fav book, "eat love and pray", they are powerful: ===============================================
I am assuming custodial responsibility for the maintenance of my own soul.
I can choose how I regard unfortunate events in my life, where I see them as curses or opportunities.
When I'm feeling too da*m sorry for my self I can choose to change my outlook, my words, the tone of my voice and how I talk to others.
You need to learn how to select your words just like you select what clothes are you going to wear everyday, this is a power you can cultivate.
If you want to control things in your life so bad work on the mind, that's the only thing you should be trying to control anyway. Drop everything else, because if you can't master your thinking you are in deep trouble forever. This is not about repression or denial, admit to the existence of negative thoughts and understand where they are coming from and with great forgiveness, dismiss them. It is a sacrifice to let them go, it's a loss of old habits, it takes practice and effort, it's constant vigilance, some thing you need to do this for yourself.
I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore. Harbor is a noun, it is a port of entry, place of refuge. Your mind is a harbor. It's an open bay with access to an island, yourself. You may not come here anymore with your slave ships of unhealthy thoughts, they will all be turned away, all malcontents, you may not come here, angry and starving exiles, cannibalistic thoughts will not be received. This is a peaceful harbor, the entry way to a fine and proud island which is now starting to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by this new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind. Otherwise, I shall turn you all toward the sea from hence you came, that is my mission and it will never end.
Longing and control, that's what your mind is fighting about.
Prayer is a relationship. Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
