Hey guy. Take a breath. It is going to be all right if you just calm down. We all work in different modes and I know what you are saying. You have to be the better person and not let her prod you into an angry reaction. I know she can do it better than anyone.
I need you to do me a favor and keep posting to me, Phil. I know that helping other people helps you. I only wish I could feel a fraction of your anger because it might just help me. Still haven't felt any.
The important thing is to harness that anger to a useful purpose. Don't waste it on her right now. Use it to help you do better. I know the Phil I write to can do this.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
SHUT UP! FOREST TAKE THAT OFF. I DID NOT ASK YOU OR ANYONE TO DO THAT!
FOREST YOU WERE ASKED NOT TO POST TO ME.
HOOSIER YOU WERE ASKED NOT TO POST TO ME.
NAEJ, I'M ASKING YOU NOT TO POST TO ME.
SG, PLEASE ASK THEM TO STOP POSTING TO ME.
SG, PLEASE ERASE WHAT FORREST DID!
ARE YOU ALL DEAF AND CAN'T READ.. YOUR DRIVING ME CRAZY!
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY....
GO AWAY IF I ASK YOU TO GO AWAY...
NEAJ, YOU SAY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO POST AND YOU KEEP COMING BACK.
YOU ARE BOGGING ME DOWN! NOW STOP IT!
YOU GET HELP NAEJ. IT'S YOU THREE DRIVING ME CRAZY! LEAVE ME ALONE!
MY CHILDREN ARE FINE! THEY ARE BETTER OFF WITH ME!
Too many people talking to you, all saying the same thing. At this point, Phil, we're all so concerned about your interactions with your kids that we don't really care that we were asked not to post to you.
Your kids are not fine. They're showing you that in the only ways they can. Are you waiting for them to act out, become ill, or what? If they're better off with you, then make it so. Have a schedule; be sure they're with you on the evenings she works and in bed by 9 with their homework done, teeth brushed, prayers said, and reassurances they're loved. You can do this, Phil. It's not optional.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Phil, If you treat your W anywhere near as badly as you do the people here, I can understand why she left. You need to get counseling for your anger and the way you can't seem to put your kids feelings/needs before your own need to prove that your W is worthless and you're the good guy that just wants to save his M. The way you're going about it is only driving her further away and eventually your kids too. You have power over this situation yet you continue to do what you're doing.
I've wasted enough of my time here today. Good luck to you.
Folks, if he asked you not to post...please do not post to him. It only antagonizes him.
Phil--be nice. Don't be so easily antagonized. The edit was your freebie. You've also reached your non-official limit of folks you ask not to post to you. You have to be able to get along in this neighborhood.
I hope you will work this out so you can continue posting here.
Exactly!!! Why do you post here if you don't want anyone to post on your thread? Or, is it you only want people to post who agree with what you're doing? I'm thinking not too many peeps agree with how you're handling things.
Phil, first I want to say that I am not saying this to anger you. I really care about you and your situation. I had to ask myself "why am I reading this?" Please forgive my analogies but it is how I relate things best. I thought maybe it is like the proverbial multi-car pileup where everyone is rubber necking to see what happened.
Then I realized that it was more like seeing a man drowning. I'm watching from the shore as I see person after person swimming out to you, trying to help you. But like a drowning man can react, they fight the very person who is trying to help him. Some he starts to succeed in pulling them down to the very depths they are trying to save him from.
I see people throwing life preservers out to you and you push them away. And then when boats come out to try and rescue you, you nearly capsize them.
I am now asking myself, does Phil really want to be rescued? Is Phil trying to allow himself to be swallowed by the murky depths? Or is he convinced he can save himself if he smacks at the water enough?
I may have offended you. I promise you that is not my intention.
My father was a man that allowed his anger to destroy his family. My mom, who left my dad trying to get him to change and went back to him hoping he had, misses him to this day. My dad died 10 years ago, alone, because he would not do anything about his anger and his need to be right.
Why???? He pushed everyone away that loved him. My dad could have had it all. But he had to do it his way. He wouldnt listen to anyone.
Phil, don't be like my dad. Please. I am begging you to stop what is happening with you and deal with your anger. Please.
I asked my dad to deal with his anger and to realize that maybe, just maybe, he may be causing a lot of his problems. He wouldn't listen to me and I miss him terribly. So, I am asking you to do something. Please?
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
You need to get counseling to learn to deal with people. You say the same things as others. He doesn't want to listen to me, so I'll show him. I'll say I'm going away and never posting again. Neener, neener, neener... Then you come back in a couple of days and sling mud.
LEAVE ME ALONE! qoe...!
LEAVE ME ALONE! FORREST!
LEAVE ME ALONE! HOOSIER! I just tried it again you pompous know it all. I just told my daughter on the phone that she needs to stay with me when mommy works on school nights. She says but I want to stay with mommy. I said too bad. Then she gets all sad.
I've never posted to you before but I can see that you are one angry, hurting man but you are manifesting it by lashing out at EVERYONE else. And that is abuse. I would have left this alone except for that tiny voice. The one on the phone. The one you are NOT listening to. The one who is afraid of you. Because you obviously are loud and abusive with her as well. It is YOUR CHILD! and she is NOT FINE. She is afraid of you. Is that what you want?
I've never heard anyone post what you post before. And you do need counselling. Your family needs help.
how sad.... valuable info for people that actually want to help him. see ya, good luck phil, good luck with people that would prefer to enable and pacify you rather than give a rip about you or your m
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
Lets just leave Phil alone.He has the necessary information.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we have here this week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you all do.
