"And living their lives feeding on every last contact, word or visit etc. And when there is none...they are bereft. And that is 100% arrogance and ego. That is making the H an idol."
Maybe for some but to make the H an idol???? I am not so sure many do that. I think those that are very clingy and beg may fall in that category but not all.
Arrogance? I am not so sure about that. I think when you have been with your life partner for so long and have had a good marriage and are open with one another, yeah, you cherish the visits and it is sad to see them go but I would not quite take it that far.
Yes, you have to follow God but everyone has to be led by Him to be taught as it can be difficult to do. Not many people we come in contact with on a daily basis would even think of doing such a thing. I think that is why people who have chosen this harder path find it very lonely.
It is a learning process.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Anything or anyone placed before God is an "idol."
And almost everyone on DB does place the DESIRE for their marriage to be restored above all else. That is what makes it idolatry. And it is rampant on DB.
Any of us can potentially fall victim to that...and have been guilty of that. And to deny that aspect of standing -- is where arrogance and ego come in.
And you are right: It is most definitely a lonely path. And it is a learning process and we are ALL works in progress!! Thank God!
Hi guys....can I chime in here? I get very confused about what God wants me to do. Sometimes my mind goes in circles about what Gods will is. I think of Charlene cares, saying I should wait and be patience and let God fix my marriage in his timing. Then I think of the fact that the Bible says God has given us our own free will. He cant control what we choose to do, therefore he cant make our H's come home. Then I think about being loving to my H, and trying to stay his friend to showing him some tough love and saying dont talk to me until you decide to come home!
My mind is so full of this stuff that i really dont know what God wants me to do....wait for something that may take for ever??
BUT he also says its ok since my H committed adultery for me to divorce him.
boy oh boy, what to do? I agree, maybe we are better off with God as our H. He said we would be better off that way, but didnt expect us too, but maybe it is the best thing.
Sorry, just putting in my 2 cents!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
God can change a hardened heart and HE CAN change your husband.
The confusion is the enemy taking over your thoughts. When you read the Bible, it talks about God providing you with peace and comfort.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Kissak go with what is in your heart. I just know that kindness and love towards my husband is what has worked for my situation.
Regardless if our M is restrored. I would just want to have a R with my h with love, kindness, support. That is what I would want to show our kids even if we are not together.
I do agree with MWG that it is the enemy. I know that when I waver on my stance the enemy is on attack. The confusion is not God it's the enemy and the ways of the world that are confusing.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Thanks Guys, I agree that the enemy does mess with my mind...but what does God want me to do....show him some tough love or be loving to him? I guess tough love is loving though. I want to keep that friendship, but its hard. Somedays I am his friend, but other days, I just want to avoid him at all costs.
Thank you for the verse Summer...I will mark it in my bible....My bible is beginning to glow lately from all the highlighting!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
What does God want you to do? In the book of Ephesians it says we are to love unconditionally, always forgiving as Christ forgave us and to be ye kind.
When you read and think about what Christ says, he did not put tough love practices into place. He is patient, waits for us to come to Him. He wants us to be kind, even to those who have wronged us.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I suggest you read Erin Thiele's book, and then decide for yourself what you want to do. And pray for God to give you direction as you read the book. Here's the link to what Summer posted me - it has links to Erin's book "How God Will Restore Your Marriage" and to the website where you can order the books (cheaper on the website, but you have to register). Post #1346666 with links to Erin's books.
I personally do not believe in tough love, never have. I stopped reading Dr. Dobson's book on tough love and moved on to read Divorce Remedy which started my entire journey to restoring my M.
