Don't post to me hoosier, go away. What did I just say! you don't know how to read. Go away, you are bogging me down.
Quote:
You were asked not to post to me.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK?
Don't you think part of my problem is that I need to be right, and I need to have the last word. I have homework to do. I'm overwhelmed. Just let me journal.
DON'T YOU THINK I'M PROTECTING MY CHILDREN? GO Away! I do control myself around my children. If I do loose it I immediately apologize to them, and hold them. I tell them I'm sorry I lost it. Just help me by being good.
I have no need to argue with you. Your just putting me under.
I feel like crawling up in a ball as it is and just scream and pant like a damn autistic child.
LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ARE SATAN TO ME! YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME! YOU HAVE NEVER HELPED ME!
Gosh, I feel like the pig girl texting me. Except she likes to use expletives.
I'm really sorry, Phil. I'm sorry I bring out this reaction to you. I'm sorry you think I'm Satan. Because I'm really trying to help you and above all, help your kids. I have no desire to fight with you. But I'm willing to stick my neck out if I can get through to you on this topic.
When you tell your kids "help me by being good," you're putting a tremendous amount of responsibility on a 6 year old and an 8 year old. What you're telling them--remember they don't have life experience or anything to put this in context--is that if they're not good enough you'll lose it again.
They're hurt, they're confused, they're sad, they're probably angry because that's just part of it; they need to know that you both love them no matter what happens, no matter what they do. And they need to have peace and stability, whatever it takes to get that. You need to do whatever it will take to get that for them. Come on, Phil, you've recognized they need a bedtime, they need to know where they're going to be. And they need that more than you and your wife need to see them whenever you want. Until you step up and provide that for them, no--you're not protecting your children.
I'm sorry if that makes you angry. I'm sorry you're going thru this. I'm sorry we're all going through this. I understand the feeling of needing to curl up in a ball. I do it myself sometimes. It's just part of the pain, it doesn't mean you're going crazy. Do it if you need to. We all do it, we just may not all admit it. If you do it when you're alone, it will help you not to need to do it when your kids need you to be their Dad.
Peace, Phil.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
