Healing my Heart 4

[Dr LOve]

Hey Tal,
Segregate H here (Dr LOve)

So how did it go this morning? Did S5 get to sleep on time last night or was he too excited?

How are you doing? We are getting old sweetheart our baby is growing up tooooo fast.

Take it easy today lady it must be hard to let go, I will call later to find out how his day went

Love ya
H

[fightingirish]

sara,

Of course what you are saying is correct, but when emotions are involved, its a whole other story.

What i haven't posted is that he does try and tell me how to raise the kids, this is my other issue with him. Constent critizism.

I take responsibility for allowing to go on as long as it has, it hasen't gotten better, its gotten worse.I know I made the choice to marry him at 19 years old, I was young and blind. It really started getting even worse after I had the boys.

I know I've changed and so has he. I don't have as much patience with his attitude then I once did. I'm getting to the point that my tolerance of it is dwindling rapidly.

Yes I will have to make that decision.

[Sara]

TAL,

Both of my parents are Aries. They have been married for 60 years. And I guarantee you, they have fought loudly every day of those 60 years. What amazes me most is that neither of them ever says, "Fine. You're right. I don't want to argue." Nope. They both go in for the screaming match every time. Fire signs.

[fightingirish]

Thanks dr. Love.. I needed that. i only wish my Real H said it. I miss him a lot. S2 keeps on saying "christopher back mama"

He misses him too. Got an email from the front office secretary telling me he is doing great, had a big smile on his face. It helps to know people! I also know the bus driver. Remember I worked at that school district in the administration offices for 11 years, so I have an advantage and have people on know looking out for him, so that does make me feel better.

Sara,

yes I am an aries, and he is a leo. His sincerity is in the toliet along with his attitude with me.

[saffie]

(((((((((((((((HUGS tal)))))))))))))))))

You are a great mom. First days at school are a big deal for us moms...in lots of ways. I just think our H's get out of touch with these things. Each time one of the children starts or finishes at a school it is like another chapter of our lives opening and closing.

My youngest started her last year at primary school today, (should have been yesterday but I got the day wrong ). Next year, when she starts at secondary school, I shall be complete wreck. My eldest D should be going to University this time next year as well. I just can't think about that - it hurts too much- she is a good friend to me and I shall miss her.

[fightingirish]

Thanks saffie, it is so hard. I worry that my life is full with the boys in it, I don't have too much time to think about what will happen when they are both out of the house. What im saying is "what im left with". Right now they distract me a lot... I don't want to regret staying with H because it was just easier at the time.

I don't know if Im making any sense.. my emotions are all over the place today.

[saffie]

You are making sense Tal....and I can say I have had those same thoughts in the past....but I now, although I dread the children leaving and life changing, I can also see positives to H and I having more time together. I think where you are at the moment is a paricularly tricky time.

[Yoyowife]

TAL,
I think women are wired differently when it comes to emotions, okay there is no thinking, they are. They love their kids, but most just don't have the nurturing side that we moms do.

remember my H could not understand why I was tearing up when we left oldest DD20 at college that first year. He acted like I was stupid. Little did I know that he was already deep in his fog. Two months later was when he moved out without basically any warning. I guess that is what happens when there is another person involved in their lives.

This year on the first day of school I was doing okay until my DD17 walked to the door to drive to school. She is a senior. She stopped and stood there a while and said, "Go ahead Mom and look, this will be my last first day." Of course she was excited about it, but not me! It is killing me that she is a senior. I honestly don't know what I will do without her next year.

[Dr LOve]

TAL,
I think women are wired differently when it comes to emotions, okay there is no thinking, they are. They love their kids, but most just don't have the nurturing side that we moms do.

Enough.............

THE saying goes any body can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Must I remind everyone my first wife left me with a 3 MONTH OLD BABY...............?

Looking at the sitches here it seems that most of the men who do have and show emotions are left behind by their women. The ones with out emotions are the ones that seem to have to make a choice between their GF and their wives. While the rest of us guys get walked on by both our wives and the "non emotional" men...

Ok back to my hole (sorry)

Dr LOve

[Sara]

Exactly what I was thinking, Doc. We say we want a man to be all loving and sappy, but in reality we walk all over those guys and go for someone who is much more of a challenge. And TAL's H is a challenge.

Tal,

I would go for equality in the relationship. That is, division of labor. He wants you to take care of the kids and the home. That means he is not the visiting boss who shows up occasionally just to criticize you. And you won't try to run the business. But negotiate it calmly. no fireworks.