Your post made me smile, and that's a really good thing. I can just imagine the David Brent type office environment...
I nearly failed Finance in business school...I admire anyone who can work with numbers!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Essie- I booked 3- the first is really a run down of your situation and what led to it, and then the second monitors the impact of the changes with suggestions for more alterations. Also, it's really good for a boost of hope and PMA.
T- are you starting a new thrad? I miss you!
Mishka- likewise. You have such a lot to cope with and here yuo are, still posting. It's great!
ITH- I wish I could do numbers. Finance was my worst subject on my MBA too- I do biology!
So, H and I had lunch. It was nice. Nothing major to report. No hug hello, and a peck on the cheek and hug goodbye. H didn't hold much eye contact, but did do a bit of mirroring. We exchanged a couple of e-mails in the morning and have exchanged a couple this afternoon. H says he can't make the proms as he's very busy (seeing mates and the aubergine at the weekend, I guess). Not to worry- it's his loss.
CEO bought me a spa day to thank me for arranging our meeting yesterday, so that was really nice Actually, H mentioned in his mail to me this afternoon that he hoped I was having fun with CEO and his big idea (CEO had a big work idea last night). Considering that I hardly ever mention CEO to H any more I thought that was a bit odd. But not odd enough to not tell H that CEO bought me a gift. Ha.
Michelle- I didn't ask my coach about mentioning competition. To be fair, it's not really competition, although maybe H doesn't see it that way. Do you think I shouldn't mention it?
Julia- I didn't specify any night for the prom. H just said he was busy for the next lot of weeknights. The weekend wasn't an option- aubergine time. I just told H I was going to go anyway, which is what Jody said to do any time I made a suggestion for an activity/outing.
Handsome- glad to hear it!
I'm feeling a bit down this afternoon. Lacking hope, I guess. This seems like it's taking so long and I'm so fed up of being second best behind that purple thing. Maybe H is really happy in his life and I'm a bit part to that. He's going away at the end of the month to Sicily (with family, he says). We talked about going to Sicily for our honeymoon. Seems like ages ago.
His life seems to be just fine and dandy- he's busy with his friends and new GF, going away, doing his hobbies- those days of him apologising and saying he'd fix things, and being unhappy seem eons ago (3 months?). Sometimes it seems as though I'm chasing a shadow. I wonder if he sees me as STBXW who's now his friend who he sees for lunch (and then mails me saying 'thankyou very much for lunch- it was nice to see you'. So formal), and if I've tricked myself into thinking he's confused.
But aren't you pretty happy with your life right now regardless? You said there's not really anyone you're interested in dating, etc. So, why push things (knowing that 99% it would lead to D)? Why not enjoy hanging with Julia, your other friends, work, going to Proms, and generally being a wonderful and sociable person?
3 months ago he was miserable. Now he's picking up the pieces of his life, and you honestly have no idea whether the purple thing is a happy part of it and what he'll decide. And frankly, expecting someone to make multiple big decisions about their life in 3 months is a bit unrealistic - he'll take time, feel it out.
You have built a fantastic friendship over the last 3 months, which is stage 2 (probably borderline 3 with all the hand holding and kissing!) of DBing! The last big R talk pushed things back (but how long were things building until then?) so he may be getting to an action point all on his own - and we know it's better if they're not pushed into anything.
You are not second best to anyone. And if he doesn't realize that, it is his loss!!!
(((Lisa)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I think Michelle's post is spot on. I think maybe you have reached a plateau with him at the moment. It's difficult, as we want to build on the progress we are making but they don't keep up with our pace. I think it is because (well for me anyway) we don't want them just to see us as a friend and think that is ok. We want more but we can't let them know. I do think that any r conversation you have at the moment will send him running again. You said when you reached this point a few months ago you brought stuff up and it sent him running. I think you just need a little more patience with this one, I don't think it will stay like this forever but you don't want him to turn and run.
Maybe see if you can't 'mix it up' a little over the next couple of encounters, like you have been with the naughty bits talk. Also, remember it wasn't that long ago you were dancing in the street. Don't be discouraged, you will be again soon.
Actually, H mentioned in his mail to me this afternoon that he hoped I was having fun with CEO and his big idea (CEO had a big work idea last night). Considering that I hardly ever mention CEO to H any more I thought that was a bit odd. But not odd enough to not tell H that CEO bought me a gift. Ha.
