Thank you for your comments. It is very good food for thought. We are only human and as humans we make mistakes. Sometimes we recognize them right away and regret doing it. Other times someone else has to point out our mistakes. If in your heart what you did was without malice you can still regret what you have done. Malice creates embracement, denial, guilt, and then anger. None of these things are health to a weak, struggling relationship. But we all make mistakes no matter how hard we try. Understanding and forgiveness will go along way to improve things.
My W did what she had to do, because I believe in her heart that she felt it was the only thing she could do and not die emotionally. It will take her time to find herself. I am using this time to make me better. If I make myself better, I can have the strength to help her work things out in her mind. I hope in this time span I can grow enough to purge the malice from my heart that was created in my sitch; I will never remind her of these past few months. Because she will always remember the pain and hurt that has occurred between us and if I use it against her in the future then I did not learn to forgive, which is not good for anyone. If you are strong enough and dedicated to really be a good friend first and loving partner in a relationship, you are ready to offer your unconditional love. This is something you will work on your entire life. It is not the easiest thing to offer/supply, but you get out what you put in. Nothing worth having is valueless.
When she is ready I am ready to offer her my unconditional love. I just got to figure out how I can explain it her. It will be easier for her to move in that direction if she does have to feel guilty for being wrong. In her mind she isn’t wrong.
