As a DB strategy...what you are doing is changing things. Your W is definitely thinking. This could be very promising for your M. And I also understand not liking the person she is now...but obviously at some point you loved the person she was and can be.
As a new R...I worry for your chances of success. I understand not wanting to be alone...but this just seems really fast, especially with the kids involved, still living with your W, and not really moving along with the D process.
Trust me, the D process will lead you through another period of loss/grieving. It's a whole other roller coaster that you are going to have to deal with. Just be careful not to drag NH or her kids into it.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I love my W amazingly, but, I would not welcome her back the way she is right now.
My thoughts exactly! It would be a cold day in h*ll before I'd go back to my husband, this "thing" that my husband has become. Now, the man I married, wherever he is...I'd really like to have him back.
Sawks, I really do hope you stick around here and keep us updated. My only concern is that you spent the night there with the kids around...I would AVOID against that for a long time.
anyways bottom line is the cousin said she is likely just mad because u got the upper hand and have found someone new before she did. I don't think she expected you to move on yet.
Careful what you wish for, she wished for all of this, she got it
She didn’t think you’d move on so quickly? That's good! Maybe divorce is what she thought she wanted, but now she's reconsidering. Maybe she thought you’d actually change? And you started to, and maybe she secretly started to believe that this could work?
But now you’re going off the deep end…
Originally Posted By: redsawks44
Again I will get slammed, and if i do, i guess i will rethink posting anymore. But i have made friends here and wanted to just update them.
You won’t get slammed here, we’re all in the same boat.
Originally Posted By: redsawks44
today W called me at 4 PM, and said are u planning on coming home to feed the dogs? I said no, we made arrangements that i would be gone all weekend, as she is gone for a week starting tuesday. I got hung up on.. sheeesh.
Sawks, come on man, keep it nice. Remember what a nasty divorce will cost you. She's starting to reach out to you, and it's in your best interest to keep the friendship, even if the marriage dies.
She is gone for a week to the mountains, ahhh peace. either way, I got approved to keep the house on my own yesterday , now i have to decide whether or not i actually want to stay in that house. I was thinking more about moving to the other side of the city to be away from all her friends. I will decide in a week, she would have a big payout to me and I don't think she can pull it off.
As a DB strategy...what you are doing is changing things. Your W is definitely thinking. This could be very promising for your M. And I also understand not liking the person she is now...but obviously at some point you loved the person she was and can be.
As a new R...I worry for your chances of success. I understand not wanting to be alone...but this just seems really fast, especially with the kids involved, still living with your W, and not really moving along with the D process.
Trust me, the D process will lead you through another period of loss/grieving. It's a whole other roller coaster that you are going to have to deal with. Just be careful not to drag NH or her kids into it.
I guess I will have to disagree, i think the new R has a good chance. Yes I thought the same about W at one time, but remember i went to my site assignment 3 hours away for sometimes 11 days in a row for 2 years. We were very used to being apart. I think we were S a longtime ago, i had some original shock when she announced she wanted a D, but I had kicked the idea around too. I don't think I will grieve when the D actually happens, i really don't. I just don't think it was ever right, and we rushed into things way back when. I can't answer everyone's posts, but i do appreciate the insight. I am thinking hard about doing the house and if I do, W moves out within a set amount of time. I will be just fine.
Hey Sawks...I am glad to hear you are doing well. You know we only give you advice because you are a part of our little group and we worry.
At any rate, what are the alternatives w/ regard to the house if you decide not to keep it?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hey Sawks...I am glad to hear you are doing well. You know we only give you advice because you are a part of our little group and we worry.
At any rate, what are the alternatives w/ regard to the house if you decide not to keep it?
I crunched numbers this morning, and I don't want it. I am going to start looking for a cheap place to rent that will take me and my dog and my cat. Move what was agreed on into storage for now. I can downsize so much for way less money. If I did the house, i would be house poor, not quite but things would be alot tighter than I am used to. I work hard , I don't want that. I will once again see if she is interested in finding a friend to move in with her, so this process can move along. At this point if she continues to get angry over things I am doing, things will only go sour. I'd rather keep the split amicable. I appreciate all the advice lola, i hope i don't come accross as arrogant or angry, because i am not. I am me. I like me and where i am alot!
I can certainly understand that. If she cannot find a roomate, what is the alternative? Can you sell the house?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
