Looking for support from other WAS's

[lost3031]

So it's been over a week since I last posted here. The feeling of extreme despair is still there. I wish I could make it go away but it refuses to leave me alone. I find myself unable to concentrate at work, so much so that I've found reasons to leave early every day. It's impacting my friendships because I no longer wish to communicate with anyone who knows anything about my R issues. As all WAW's know, we spent years feeling numb on the inside to hide from the pain of everyday life. For a short time, I found myself coming back to life and feeling like a human being again instead of the robot I had become. Now it's like I feel like I can't handle being human and desperately want to become that robot again - the emotions are just so intense that I want to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers. I don't want to feel this way but I don't know what to do anymore. Instead of contemplating R with H and R with OM, I just ignore both and go on with my day. All I want is for it to be over. Am beginning to think that getting rid of them both and disappearing to Timbuktu is the way to go... but then again, running never has solved any of my problems, has it?