"Personally, I would try to avoid all attempts at 'meddling'. It has the potential to get back to her and backfire on you. "
Thats what I figured, i just needed to hear it from someone else
"Do people drink at 5 yo.'s b'days as a rule, or just your BIL and her brother ? Again, sounds a bit odd. " Not a rule as such, but it always happens, just seems to be a, well, once the kids go to bed, the party continues into the night.
"If it were me, I would make a showing for the kid and get out asap" i would leave early, but I am taking the kids when I leave, so I have to be there untill after the cake and things, so i will be there for at least 2-3 hours.
"Sounds like a really messed up situation." Tell me about it
"My thought is that if you make contact first, make it short and lighthearted. Or talk about kids. Just don't press her to talk about R. Also, I would be careful about contacting her too often. In my case I know it irritates my W if I bother her too much, especially if she is at work."
I will take that into consideration, the times when I contact her will change, coz' she doesn't work, but she goes to her mothers house all the time.
W is having trouble paying for things, I learned that I can not offer any financial support at all, she reacts very badly to that. If she asks for it, she thanks me, but I can't offer. She is going to move back in with her parents if they continue having trouble with money, thats a bad move for them all around I think but I can't argue, it wont go well.
" To tell you the truth, my W's behavior has really disappointed me. She isn't and never has made it easy for me to love her, at least not since we got married. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. I want to have a happy family for my 6yo.D, but I don't know if W can ever really be a part of that. She seems hooked on drama. Sometimes I get really angry about it. Anyway, at this stage in our R, I am going to pull back a little bit. She seems a bit more irritable lately. I'm so tired of being the target for all her frustrations. "
We have a lot in common in our relationships, pretty sure the only difference is the ages. My W takes a lot of things out on me, and she used to admit it as well, because I would take it and not get upset, but it became a problem when it became habit for her and she stopped admiting that she was "taking it out on me"
There has been a lot of times when i don't know why I still want what I want, and think that I will be better without her. But she is everything to me and she doesn't even know it.
It does get hard, but you need to pull yourself up aswell, and it doesn't matter the move you make, it will be hard either way. The hardest thing about this all is the fact that it feel like fighting a losing battle, but you just have to remember what you are fighting for. Everyday is another battle, some are longer and harder than others, some go by without a change, some present us with a glance at what we want after everything. Take the good with the bad and see where it gets us. (motivating myself and you )
t7-years m3-years Me:22 W:27 Wifes kids (love them like my own) D-10 D-7 Our Kids S-3
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