We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[onedge]

MsMelancoly

I really do understand what you mean, but i'm just not sure what to do, i need to "re-invent the wheel" a bit on this

"Since you don't have DR - I would look at the LRT from 8/5/08 by JamsJohn & the detaching thread from 8/22/08 by sgctxok. For me they were very informative & have been helping me to stay grounded."

I have recieved DR, and i'm going through it, but it just seems that LRT isn't the solution to what is happening, as it is almost "a more of the same".

"If your W has a self esteem issue - there is nothing you or anyone else can do. We all have to accept ourselves or work to change what we don't like."
I know that there is an issue with her self esteem, and I know I can't change that, I am trying to change the things about me that I'm not happy with and that she wasn't happy with either, good co-incidence for the situation


"Try to stop worring about your W so much - it will consume you."
Yeah, I understand, and I know i'm trying to rush things, but I want her to be able to talk to me about the things that are wrong or that hurt her that aren't to do with our M. Right now she has some to talk to about that sort of stuff, and it's her emotional affair person (who doesn't want any more than a friend). She is trying to lose the feelings that she has for him which is good, but I want her to be able to talk to me about it aswell. which means that i need to be able to talk to her about things and not give her pressure, but I can't cut contact?