TIPPER'S 3rd thread - Piecing Pointers

[No Longer BH]

Ok, Tipper, I am going to throw my hat into this ring. First, it really sounds like your H is in a MLC. MLC can take up to 3-7 years to cycle through. Now, if your H were in, lets say, a coma, what would you do? You would go out and do things for YOU to keep creating happiness while keeping a piece of your heart hopeful that he would wake up. You can keep sitting there waiting for him to wake up, it is not healthy for you. It sounds like he keeps cycling - very common for MLC - and you keep getting sucked into it. I am glad that you have made it as far as you have, wished I was having dates with my H, but walking on eggshells SUX. Been there, done that.

There has to be a healthy way to open conversation with your H about creating a possible timeline for him to move back in with you and for cutting back on drinking. He is medicating his MLC still with the alcohol....mine is doing it with OW. Unfortunately, you can not control his actions, but you can control how it affects you. My advise is to detach from him to some degree. Step back from him just a little. He has gotten use to the status quoe, shake it up a bit. Dont be so eger to be at his beck and call. Maybe if he starts to feel like you are slipping away, it will kick in his need to persue and things will change. Just a thought.

Just so you know, I think you have a great possibility to pull through this. You just have to be the strength right now so he has a light to help guide him through it. He has come back to you to some degree, now let him cross the finish line as well. Step back and get happy again.