I'm new here but I've been reading your threads for awhile. I found your sitch in some ways remarkably similar to mine and have found a kindred spirit of sorts in reading what you've had to go through this last while. I just want you to know that so much of what you've had to say has been so comforting, so inspiring. I do some of the same things in terms of still sometimes wanting the x, wanting him to somehow see my perspective on things but that usually happens when I allow myself to wonder if I'd only done things differently. Because I keep questioning and never really had closure....and THE ENTIRE THING WAS DONE VIA EMAIL FROM BOMB TO DIVORCE, my counselor said just the other day, "what if there wasn't anything else you could have done...maybe it wouldn't have turned out differently." It sometimes takes me awhile to remember all of the reasons why a logical person wouldn't continue to dwell on this past, but I think that's just part of our makeup. There is a quote that I discovered shortly after all this happend to me...and it is: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us" by Joseph Campbell. It's helped me and I still look at it on a daily basis.
Megan
Me-38 Ex-39 Together since 4/1988 Married 12/1989 EA 2/2004 Bomb 6/22/06 Sep 8/10/06 Div 10/31/07
