So glad to here your response. I'm sorry things did not go as well at the counseling as you had hoped. But that is another thing the WAW fights is any type of "pressure" (as she sees it) to work on the M. She will not want anyone to talk to her about working on the M or read M books, watch programs.....nothing, b/c that is not what she is wanting at this time. She is confenced that it is over. But, in time, when she finally comes out of the fog, she will see her H outshining the OM.
Quote:
Exercise has never appealed to me (probably because it reminds me of how uncoordinated I am), but I'm tired of feeling down on myself about my spare tire. I had already done the new clothes thing and the cologne, with no (outward) response.
I know what you mean by this. Exercise was always a "chore" to me. I have read over and over again, that if done on a regular bases that it can actually become somewhat addictive. I need that kind of addiction...lol. But, the point is, that it will make you feel good about Jimbo again! Not so much as to look good for your wife (although it won't hurt), but to lift your own self-esteem. So many men have written how after working out regularly their self-esteem rose significantly. They find themselves feeling more confident. So, it sounds like it would certainly be worth the effort.
Remember that the focus right now is to feel good about your life. That means that you have to force yourself to get out of that house. Do something. Try something different. But, get out of the house. I tell people that even if they just go walk the mall or get an ice cream cone......do something to make themselves "move". If you can place yourself in an environment that would help you meet new people.....that would be great. I never encourage people to go to the bar/party scene when they are having M problems. That can only lead to more trouble. But, if you are a "church" person, then that is a good place to start. There are always jobs in the church....or I should say, "activities". What about doing something for the community? Most are looking for people to offer their services. If you are the benevolence type, then hospitals or nursing/retirement homes may interest you. If you like sports.....that is endless. Outdoor hikes, water play, just endless things to do. But, again, I encourage you to find people to do these things with. At first, it is an act of self discipline! But in time, you will find what you like and it will help you in getting a life. That makes you more interesting as an individual. That makes you more attractive as a man. And, that Jimbo, is the idea!
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
