Frank I'm not trying to be mean but I wholeheartedly believe she should not come to your house for a couple of weeks unless it's to pull in the driveway and honk the horn for the girls to come out.
This is as much for her as it is for you.
I'm still very much aware of which reality checks hurt me the most and I don't like encouraging you to dish them out BUT that said, padding the fall is not wise and it's also not healthy for you, in my opinion.
I don't think you're letting her come over for her sake. I think you're doing it for your own sake.
Absolutely. Not sure how I'll prevent it but I can make sure I don't talk to her, I can leave or stay in my office. She isn't usually here very long, maybe 1/2 hour.
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And at the risk of sounding completely schizophrenic, you said something else that I want to respond to:
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it'd be easier if she was mean, and the roller coaster of the past 7 months makes me think MLC, but now she seems stable.
I often appeared very stable and even happy. How else could I have gotten my entire family to believe that leaving was the best thing to do? Deluding oneself is the first step. If you believe your own bullsh*t, eventually everyone around you will, too. My MLC was the performance of a lifetime and I should have gotten an academy award for best dramatic performance in a friggin horror movie.
Well I don't think she is happy on the inside, she's just running forward avoiding the pain.
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I don't know if she's MLC by definition, Frank. I do think she's a candidate for a complete life crisis, though, which is how I define what I had. At any rate, nothing in their world is perceived by them as it actually is but your personal recognition of that fact should never make you feel superior.
In her case I think you are right. She has a view of how things will 'work out' and it doesn't include me but it's going to be 'great!' Well good for her.
