Frank...I also wanted to ask you why you are looking to Amy's story to see if your wife is in MLC or a WAS???
I guess partly because I am trying to decide if there is 'hope' for us, or is she gone for good. I think MLC has some kind of hope as the MLC'ers are the ones who come back more often than the WAS.
Why? I guess because if I see her as a WAS I'll stop hoping.
Originally Posted By: AmyC
In the worst part of my MLC, yes, I thought I was "over" him and I was planning another life, Frank.
I envisioned that I could just take our kids and go live with someone else and all would be well. I introduced my children to the SOB that later stalked me and went to jail for it. I glossed over the rough spots I anticipated the kids would have but I truly believed that if I was happy my kids would be happier for it.
See, that's what my W thinks now. She isn't introducing them to anyone but thinks what you thought. Does that mean anything? Probably not.
Quote:
The things you have to do FOR YOURSELF don't change and THERE IS NOTHING you can do to speed up the process of MLC if that's what's she's going through. Also, if that's not what it is, you won't ever be able to make that determination.
I firmly believe too much knowledge can be deadly and you are on the edge of snare.
Be alert.
I believe you are right. I'm resolving this week to analyze less and focus on the life I've been given now. Like I've said before, it'd be easier if she was mean, and the roller coaster of the past 7 months makes me think MLC, but now she seems stable.
It's like she thinks I'm fragile or something so she has to leave the marriage 'politely'. The kids on the other hand are not giving her the strokes she needs from them.
Originally Posted By: AmyC
That said Frank, you really need to spend more time dealing with and caring for Frank and less time analyzing your wife.
That's the only thing that got my husband through it.
He finally, truly let me go.
Yeah, I'm getting there. The pain comes in small doses now. Like now she is over here making something for D13 to eat. She 'casually' tells me that she has gotten a P.O. box so that her mail won't have to come here any more.
I think she is 'done', she is just slowly leaving instead of bailing quickly like most WAW's do. I think the last 7 months of living together was a roller coaster because she really didn't know what she wanted to do. Now that she has OM and they seem to be 'compatible' in a lot of ways, she's more comfortable making her exit.
I think she's trading down, like they always do. But regardless she's moving away.
And then, as she leaves to go a few minutes ago she calls me on the intercom to let me know she's left the special 'health vitamins' out so D17 and I can take them and hopefully not get D13's flu.
