I think you do focus on her reaction too much but you are getting better thinking about you. If you are anything like me, I didn't like the person I became due to this situation. I was a stranger to myself as well. No wonder H ran away.

Right now anyway, I have too much going on to be thinking about him and his issues. They really don't take up much of my time. I am focusing on me and what I need to do to get my life to where I want it. The kids naturally take a big amount of time too. If you remember my goals, one of them was to sit down with them to draw out a plan for what we want our lives to be.

You are a sweet, loving man. Now go out and find that man you were before this happened or better yet the man you always aspired to be.

hugs, kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory