Val I'm not defending LL in anyway BUT do you think he put off telling b/c of the type of surgery you've had recently? Perhaps in his deluded mind he thought he would spare you pain. Who knows.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
ACJ, who knows what that clown was thinking...I mean...he had 9 MONTHS to tell me about it. Whether it was before or after my surgery was not going to make it easier...and, in fact, has made it worse that I found out by accident.
I think he is just a coward like so many of them are. They don't want to face the responsibility of their actions...or rather they don't to face up to US regarding their actions. I am sure in his befuddled mind he thinks he is doing me a favor by not telling me anything.
In truth, I believe God led me to the truth. Even when I stumbled upon his affair with this woman at the very beginning 3 years ago...that was AN ACCIDENT...I was not snooping...in fact I did not think he had gone that far...clearly this guy is a Grade-A liar. And why should I think differently? He is a lawyer.
So, who knows, right? Maybe he DID want to spare me the pain...in all honesty, if he told me that, I don't think I would believe him because he lies so easily and he could be lying about that. Maybe he just wanted his cake and eat it too? Maybe he felt like he could ease me into divorce w/o me knowing...and he could get away with it...and he moved on and I would never hear from him again and he could live his life with the OW and their kid. And everyone would be happy.
Honey, I have no idea who this man is...I am not sure he is as thoughtful as that...I think he is selfish beyond anyone I have ever known. Makes me sick just thinking about it.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
I'm sure that someone will pick Dumb for their t-shirt but will you save DUMBER for me? Cause mine definitely is......and that would only be right and fair.
Sorry that your's is such a Dumba$$ and a coward. You will be the one who will come out of this a better person. That's just the thing about this. We're forced to sink or swim and I really don't remember anyone who didn't choose to swim. Yay for us!
Bethie, I am not sure that your H is as dumb as mine. I think mine wins the prize...really I do. SO we may have to flip for who gets the DUMB shirt and who gets the DUMBER shirt.
I keep hearing that I will come out of this a better person. I just don't wanna be a BITTER person. And as for sinking or swiming...well there are plenty of fish in the sea and I'm eventually looking to find me a great big one and let go of the one that is teensy but THINKS he is ginormous.
YAY for us!!!!
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Are you referring to emotionally small or ......like in shrinkage?
Ok well you don't need to post that here. Anyhoo, I get you on the big fish theory and I agree. There are wayyyyy bigger fish out there. Do you think we'll have to go deep sea fishing to find them cause I get a little queasy with all that rocking?
I always and I mean, always said that I was more the crazy one to put up with the crazy from mine. It is actually a long standing joke/fact from his side of the family. They actually invented a word to cover it. That is how common the crazy is in his family.
(Can you mix dramamine and red wine? I don't want to end up any loopier than I already am!) Obviously I make HUGE mistakes when I don't have my wits about me. Yeah that's my excuse for being in this boat (see how I stayed with the whole water, fish, boats theme that we have going here ;))
