BrokenHearted, I think your goals were great. I am also happy to see that when one of your goals was not reached that you didnt take it badly but rather looked for the other positives surrounding it.
I would say that your goals to have light hearted conversations with your H are great. I think you are also wise to not push for him to go to the concert with ya. It may be too soon for that type of an evening. But either way it is awesome that you left your tickets out for him to see. It is not to make him jealous, but it helps to create mystery. He doesnt know who your going with, so it will make him think.
My H was also really curious about the things I was doing when he would stop by and visit during our seperation. It is their way of keeping tabs on us and checking to see if we are moving along to fast. I would almost feel like my H was testing me when he would visit and ask so many questions. It is a good sign. After several visits like that, he was soon coming back to me.
I also made goals several times along the way, they keep changing as our situation/Marriage keeps changing. I struggle with the goals from time to time, but they are great for staying focused on what we want.
Unfortunately my main goal is for my H and I to move back in with each other and I dont see it happening any time soon. We have been peicing for four months now, and he still wants nothing to do with living together right now. Its like we are just dating. It is so hard on me, I just want to be comfortably back in our M.
My other main goals are to not be defensive when we argue, and to accept him despite his poor choices he makes. I would also like to continue to see my H come to more family and friend functions. He is making some improvement there, but it has taken a long time.
Unfortunately my H has turned into an alcoholic since he went bankrupt about two years ago. He is constantly going to the bars, a lot of the times he goes with out me, and the other times I reluctantly go with him when I really would rather not.
So for me, my main goals are more like long term struggles. Every thing else in terms of our M has been great. Like another honeymoon at times. We have a great sexual relationship and are truely acting like best friends again. I love that. But the things that are not so great (his drinking & us living apart) are like two huge open sores on my heart.
I have no idea how to make these changes I want to see happen. And I know I cannot change my H, so I dont push these issues with him. I feel like all I can do is to be patient for now.
I know I also have to become more assertive in letting my feelings be known to him. I still feel like I walk on egg shells alot around these two topics. I am way toooooo afraid of him walking away again if I tell him I dont like how much he drinks or that I need a M in which we are living together.
So those are my biggest goals, but I have no idea how to accomplish them. Unfortunately, many people on here think I am putting up with way too much crap from my H. Just like most people I know, they all say that I dont deserve this and that I should walk away before I set myself up for disaster. I Love him too much and I simply cant. He is my man and I intend to do what ever I can to keep it that way and to support him.
