Wow., thats hugely positive about the party in November, he is really including you and planning ahead and its just all good! You must be thrilled. Yes, keep being patient as I dont see anything bad in your sitch so far... he just needs to still have control doesnt he and feel like he is boss of himself, his own man. I like that you are doing different things and you really made me think then, that I havent done enough to switch things up a bit and be a different person that he least expects. So, thanks for that !
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi Ali! You know, that the DB and DR books tell us to do something different until we find something that works...maybe you need to think BIG Ali.
I am very excited about November. It's great that he's planning ahead and I'm included more than just because of D. He said today "I'm not going to invite too many people. You invite some of your friends, I'll invite some of mine and SIL can invite some of hers" lol because we'll invite the same old group of people and there prob. won't be anyone new :). But that's good because it'll be "our" friends. I'm not going to get too involved in the planning so I don't take over. If he wants advice or help then great but I think this time I'll let him do the most of the planning.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
LMAO I just remembered something. On Friday I opened a bottle of wine and had some of it and then on Saturday I drank the rest. So yesterday there were 2 wine glasses on the counter with the rest of the dishes and an empty bottle on the floor that I needed to throw out. So I wonder what XH thought when he went to the kitchen yesterday and saw 2 glasses and an empty bottle (remember he had D overnight Sunday night and knows I was out).
Yesterday and today he's been friendlier
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I'm back to a little dim today. I called once to see how everything was because this weekend he was POed that I never touched base on Thursday. I figure if D is with him I'll call once a day to say hi and see how D is but other than that no calls. He doesn't like the going dark bit so it's not good for my sitch.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Hey Sep. I don't know if he paid any attention the glasses but he did go in the kitchen and he would have seen them for sure. I can tell you today is the first day in months that he's asked about anything (this am about the jeans).
He wants to book for the 29 or 30 of November cuz D's Bday is the 27th. She told me last night "Mommy it's only 3 months for my birthday" she was so pleased with herself that she's going to be 7!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Jen he's a scorpio they notice everything!! LoL. Even now H notices if I have a new T-shirt on!! I got a stupid little throw rug for my hallway, he noticed it, commented on it and even asked which Bed Bath & Beyond I went to get it since he knew it came from there!!
Awwww she is sooo cute!! It must make her feel special that you guys are having the big party!!
hi Jen- wow- very positive about him planning the future b-day with you! i thin that is so nice even with all the turmoil.
you know what to do-no more engaging- he is clearly stating what he needs right now- withy you, his roomate, etc. he is feeling lost and lack of boundaries probably.
it good you heard him and checked in- thats alll he wants- going dark doesnt seem to work with him- it didnt with my H either. Dim is good.
you sound good and like you have climed up and out and now you are speading your wings again.
i think the down times teach us a lot too- they just suck!
xo P
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
