Maybe it's Midlife Crisis at any age?

[poet]

Ok here is the scoop. We have not had sex except for one time in the past two or three years. He never wanted to "talk" about the sex. He just went out and did it, but I cannot work on the sex with him if he doesn't want to have sex with me. I can remember times when he literally pushed me off of him onto the floor.

Ok, this is really personal. I get that, but still, how could I 'work on' something as seriously wrong as this?

poet

[craig54]

Poet,


BND is right , it will make things much easier when you can detach from what your husband does and says. It is tough in the beginning, because we hang our lives on every word our spouse says. Alot of prayer and practice is what it takes. I know now when my wife says something off the wall, I just laugh inside. Remember your husband is not thinking logically. That will get you every time if you actually believe everything he says. pray for guidance and patience.

[poet]

Hi Craig,

Thanks for visiting my thread. I know you are right and I am deliberately trying to understand this DB thing. So, for now, I have to let him go. It's hard, like you say, but I'm working toward that goal.

BTW, did you ever get the chance to put a *signature* behind your name so I can come visit your thread and converse/help you? I have wanted to find you, but it's helpless if you don't post there more often.

hugs,
poet

[1hope]

Poet, I am thinking of you!

Craig and BND are right.

I am "cautiously optomistic" (stealing TwinDad's line) that my H might be starting to come out of the tunnel. But all of the things that BND wrote........ my H said to me.

I have never felt such pain. Words can be a very sharp weapon, and my H said things that hurt me like nobody else ever has.

It got to the point that I began to write them down.It helped me to be able to get it out on paper, and sometimes be able to read them again when I was not so emotional.

That was before I found this b and began to talk to you all. After a while, after reading that so many S's were saying the very same things, I began to laugh at how crazy the things he was saying really were.

It is a lot easier to sort out the bs if you believe in yourself. You know in your heart what was good between you and what wasn't.

Work on the stuff that wasn't. Work on detaching. Spend time with happy, centered people. It's nice to be with "normal" people when the Aliens abduct our S's.

Hang in there!