I really don't see it going that far, especially when he is in between steady jobs right now. I think that is a blessing because he got fired from his job only a few weeks after we started going to counseling and that is really the only thing keeping him from buying a house and having his buddies move in with him. I just keep waiting for him to start a new job and start talking about it again. I guess I just thought we were past that and when he brought up the furniture thing yesterday I just got a dose of reality. I have been to the place he is currently staying at and completly understand his urgency to move out and while we are probably not 100% ready to live together again (especially financially right now) I just wish he would stay put for a little while longer while we can get to a place to start making plans.
In some ways I feel like I am toeing the line and seeing what I can talk about without it leading to an argument, as far as relationship talks go. Yesterday went well considering the amount of things we talked about. I was going to wait until after our session but I just couldn't help it. I think in some ways we are past the LRT stage and moving to a place where we can and should talk about our relationship issues and almost to a place where I can start to talk about the things that I need and want. That is our assignment and so it is actually lining up with DR principles in a way.
I think the next two or three weeks are going to be really big changes. Our free sessions will be over and we will have to make the desicion to pay for more or to stop going. I hope we will still go even though it is expensive. At least a few more sessions together to get down to some deeper issues. We will also probably be in a new place financially as I am starting my own business and he will most likely have a new job. It feels like it is all going to come to a head.
So last night I asked hubby if he could do a favor for me. There is something that I want from a store down in the city he is staying at and awhile back I had asked if we could go to that store whenever I came down to visit again. He had said yes. However it has been a couple of weeks now and he is always coming to see me and I really want the item sooner rather than later so last night I asked if he could stop by and get it for me before wednesday and bring it with him. He said sure. I figured he would go on his way up here on wednesday but like half an hour later he was texting me to make sure he got the right thing. I was so surprised that he raced out and got it for me. It was really sweet.
One thing I learned from this interaction is that when I let go of "controlling wife" and just am nice I actually get my way faster than if I boss him around and demand things from him. Go figure!
In the past I would have TOLD him to buy it for me. Or if I had been nice about asking I would have wanted to know when he was going to go, where he was going to put it until he brought it to me, blah blah blah. Seriously! However last night he asked me a couple of questions like "what size? what color?" and I just left it up to him and trusted that he would do a good job without me having him send pics on my phone of what my options were.
It's not a big thing but I just wanted to write it down so that I would remember that my hubby is sweet, he takes good care of me, and that if I lay off the bitching I get what I want and it's way better than before when these type of "errands" could turn into a fight.
Also this time I remembered to thank him (twice actually) instead of just taking him for granted as my "personal assistant"
This is so nice to hear. He sounds like he really loves you and even if he isn't saying it, is showing it :).
I bet you'll be on the piecing board before you know it.
I don't have much else to say because it's clearly all just positive. So happy that things are looking up fo ryou.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
