That doesn't however mean that when I'm with my W, that I act that way. It's hard to not fall into the familiar behavior patterns after so many years. Then to compound the problem, most of those patterns aren't helpful and they are used to us responding in a certain way and when we don't there is a decent likelihood of conflict and I imagine than many of us are like me and still wanting to make them happy so they will like us and come back. Ugh.
Hi Dan! I agree, you're totally right about falling into old patterns. The hard part in figuring out how to deal with it is the trigger for me is new--the cruelty that wasn't there before will trigger the old patterns because I haven't figured out how to cope with my H say, withholding money from me. Or lying. Or having no concept or memory of reality. Little stuff like that.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
