Sorry to Tj here, but AmyC caught my eye. I feel the same way as a LBS. Reality jumped up and bit me. I had no option but to change, as self pity just didn't cut it, at least for me. Pain and loss can be great motivators as in my case.
So I was curious, what made you change? I think people rarely choose to change as it is hard work, usually there is a big motivator. Yours?
My motivator is the same, pain and loss and just being sick and tired of hurting.
I still love my W, and like Theoden says I've finally come to realize that 'tough love' is what's needed here. I'm not going to file, I still think that it is HER responsibility.
But I'm also not going to do anything to help her right now. I think she's feeling the loss when D13 is sick right now and W can't be here to 'tend to her'. Maybe she's feeling some other losses, I don't know. She seems resigned to never living in this house again. and she told me the other day that "We're never going to be intimate again".
So, I'm motivated by all this to become the best Frank I can be. The Frank I used to be but much wiser and spiritually strong. I have a lot to offer the world and many gifts that God gave me that I can share, the least of which is my compassion for others.
And, I've come to realize that someday someone will value me as a partner because I deserve that. For too many years I've felt undeserving. Not any more.
